Monday, October 31, 2011

Divine Love Making


Have you read or heard about the controversy surrounding the story as to whether Jesus and Mary Magdalene were partners or actually married? There are several books that elude to this matter, including the latest best seller, The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Let's suppose for a moment this were actually true. Jesus was in human form after all and he embodied the principles of Divine Love or in other words he was a being of love So, how would a being of love make physical love? If love's eternal nature is to keep giving of itself, then would it be safe to say that a Divine being would GIVE love through the sensations of the body's pure sexuality when making physical love?

What is the body's pure sexuality? In essence, the body is a universe unto itself. Every internal and external organ works in harmony with each other to assure the survival of the system. The intelligence which governs the body happens naturally, and does not require you to think. For example: Do you have to tell your heart to beat? Of course not. Pure Sexuality is the innocent knowledge of love in the body. The magnetic power of pure sexuality attracts the Divine in another in order to give every quality of Love This knowledge or intelligence directs the whole body during the making of love through the body's sensations.

This is also referred to as making love with the Divine in you and in your partner. This is how a spiritual being of love makes physical love When two partners join with the conscious intent to make Divine physical love there is no thinking necessary and the love between the partners is then amplified as their vibrations are raised.

How does our thinking get in the way when making love? Thoughts get in the way when certain demands or expectations are placed on the encounter, instead of each partner being in the moment experiencing the beautiful sensations which occur naturally. Thoughts also get in the way when allowed to go to other places, persons or events from the past or to future imaginings during the love making. When this occurs, we lose the connection to the pure sexuality of the body or the Divine.

Everyone has experienced Divine love making at some time or another. These are the sensational moments when we come together without thought involved. We experience the great passion and connection with our partner through the sensations of the bodies. When the love making ends, we produce the vibration of well being and serenity that is recognizable in the presence of others. We remember these times fondly and may long to repeat them, but they cannot be recreated by thinking about them.

You can not make Divine physical love by wanting to recreate the past because your thoughts are in the way. Making Divine Physical love requires you to be the love that you are in the moment and to give from that place with no expectations or demands. If Jesus and Mary made physical love we believe this is how they would have practiced.

What do you suppose would happen if more people practiced making love this way? Practicing Divine love making can heal and restore an existing relationship or build a powerful foundation in a new relationship. This may be what is needed to end the disharmony, pain and unhappiness that so many suffer from today.

Man and woman have forgotten how to naturally engage the body's pure sexuality in order to make Divine physical love This ancient knowledge has been buried under the piles of self absorption and self justification that humanity has been practicing for thousands of years. Giving up these behaviors is the key to freedom and the greatest challenge to realizing the way to Divine love

When pure sexuality is present, the making of love between man and woman releases energies that are stored in the bodies creating a space for LOVE to expand which increases the vibratory rates of each person. Making love then becomes an opportunity to grow the knowledge of love and restore harmony. This occurs through the release of the finer energies that are exchanged through the organs of love during the making of love This is really a great miracle and women can especially benefit from these releases, as they tend to store more emotion in their bodies than men do. This also can be transformational and restore man and woman to their true nature or the being the love that they are.

Practicing Divine love making is as natural as breathing once we get our thoughts out of the way. The effort lies in the great undoing that must occur to allow the Authority of love to command our lives. We can return to this beautiful state of being by practicing honest communication and making our intentions with our partners pure. The Authority of Love is ever present and available to us every moment. When we consciously choose to align with this presence, we begin to experience more Divine love in our lives. Is there anyone on earth that would not benefit from having more love in their life?

Those who choose to consciously practice Divine love making can experience a transformation that benefits all their relationships through the realization of something greater than themselves. This is the awesome power of the Authority of Love that lives within each of us.



Sunday, October 30, 2011

Learning of and from Love: 7 Secrets to Maximize Love


Love is a noun personified in the divine nature of our Creator and also a verb which must be experienced in order to be fully grasped and understood. In the beginning the Creator made them male and female so as to both express His love to the individual and to form a perfect union in which love could be modeled and expressed to mankind.

Love compels us to give of ourselves freely and wholeheartedly. Love at its best is experienced when you are both giving of yourself and simultaneously being the recipient of another's love and affection. The giving and receiving element of love is mentally incomprehensible, inwardly intangible and undoubtedly incomparable to all other life experiences.

To learn of love and from love one needs to both experience it and understand the various levels of love. The Greek language provides us three words for love: phileo, eros and agape. Each have their own place and significance.

Phileo is representative of a brotherly kind of love in which there is mutual benefit, exchange and partnership. The old adage "You scratch my back and I will scratch yours." could be one example. Such a love is most often based upon need and mutual advantage.

Eros is romantic love, which apart from the internal imagery and emotions is primarily experienced and expressed through the senses. When one thinks of romance that which stimulates the senses immediately comes to mind - elegant evening attire, red roses, fine wine, gourmet dining, intimate conversation, enrapturing perfume, enchanting music, holding hands and tender kisses are all sensory stimulants adding to the accumulative effect of romantic love.

Agape is the highest and deepest form of love, as it is freely given unconditionally with no prerequisites before it is expressed. Agape love is the God kind of love that gives and expects nothing in return. Agape keeps no record of wrongs, requires no reciprocation and bestows itself whether or not one is worthy of receiving it. Such a love is truly out of this world and incomprehensible to modern men.

I have had the privilege to experience love on all three levels. I can honestly say however that it is the agape form of love that I find to be most amazing.

When I was a child I often was a selfish brat. Nevertheless my parents graciously continued to love me while enduring such behavior. Of course at the time, being immersed in the moment and fixated on my immediate wants, I was clueless as to my attitude and behavior. Thankfully my parents patiently continued showing me unconditional love until the time I came of age and to the place of personal awareness.

During my adult life I have also had the good fortune of being the recipient of unmerited love, favor and prayers from ministers around the world. Such displays of unconditional love and personal sacrifice have truly had a deep impact upon my own life.

Being one who experientially understands the agape God kind of love, I now know why the holy Bible declares: "God is love." Such an unconditional love that is out of this world truly embodies the heart of the Creator for us His creation. It is amazing that God above would love and lay down Himself for us below to experience heaven on earth.

Thus far in my love journey I have learned the following.

1.The first step to improve your self-esteem is to cultivate a healthy love for yourself. You cannot give what you do not first possess. We love others how we love ourselves. People who don't treat others well often mistreat themselves inwardly through their daily inner dialogue and self talk.

You must come to know and realize that you are valuable, special and a unique gift to humanity and the earth. Though all may not celebrate you, undoubtedly someone certainly will and for such you were created. Most importantly remember within the heart of your Creator who formed and fashioned you in His image you are a masterpiece and unique original. Therefore do not die a copy trying to fit in and be like everybody else. Be yourself and celebrate your authenticity. As you begin celebrating who you are, your identity shall be firmly established after which your destiny shall unfold. You are the way you are because of why you are!

When you get a glimpse and begin to grasp the love the Creator has for you His creation, your self-image, personal esteem and self-awareness will change and improve.

Upon being established in your personhood and identity (not based on what you do, but rather who you are in the heart of your Creator) you will more easily discover and locate your intended destiny. Ultimately identity is destiny. So it is paramount that you be established in your identity before prematurely launching out to secure your destiny.

2.By drawing near to your Creator, the Source of all life, you in turn will experience new love and new life.

As you do you will experience an unconditional love you have never known, a limitless love the will expand the perimeters of your heart and soul causing you to joyfully overflow!

Connecting with your Creator can occur when you observe and enjoy nature, meditate upon life in general, do some personal soul searching concerning your own level of self-awareness and areas in your life in which you seek personal improvement, and pouring your heart out unashamedly to the One who already knows you inside and out.

Take some "me time" to examine your heart, ponder the path you wish to take and strategically come into alignment with your inner desires. Like a flower that blooms in season, do not disregard the various seasons of the soul. Allow yourself a winter season for introspection, personal evaluation, contemplation and transformation.

Do not expect people to fully understand you because they are not you. Go to your Creator for inner restoration of the soul that you may arise whole. Pour your heart out to He who sits in heaven and is a very present help in times of trouble. As you do you will come victoriously come through what you are going through and manifest a new you!

3. Sharing your love and faith with others further magnifies and intensifies the experience for you!

Locating people of like precious faith can be done by attending a church, synagogue or temple with similarly spiritual minded people. Associations and organizations also often provide a forum for people with common spiritual and ideological beliefs to interact and celebrate one another.

4. Acting on your feelings of love, inner impressions and motivations also further increases the amount of love you give and receive daily.

Faith and love should be both a fact and an act. Love not merely in tongue but also in deed and in truth. Serving others is what love is all about. Service is love in work clothes. Begin preferring others over yourself and serve them from the heart. As you do, such displays of love and affection will assuredly come back to you.

5. Be vulnerable and boldly express your love!

Don't hide your feelings to fit in. Break out of the emotional straight jacket and rut that seeks to enslave your soul. Live with passion and feeling! So what if people misunderstand or don't understand you. That is their problem. You however need to be real, live an authentic life and express your feelings to others. Allow yourself to be vulnerable before people. Take off the mask and stop trying to fit in.

The path to success might not be clear but the sure path to failure is trying to please everybody. Be yourself. Live authentically and express yourself freely. Love without regrets. If you get your heart broken, you can get a breakthrough! Bold love is better than unexpressed love that merely torments you within. Let the walls come down and let your love go forth and abound!

6. Forget the past and forge ahead wholeheartedly into your future.

Your past is behind you and you can do nothing about it. Fail forward! Learn from the past. Acknowledge your contributory negligence and mistakes, but move on! Don't sabotage your present and future by fixating on the past. Stop looking for closure concerning unresolved matters and instead simply let them be. Make a decision for your present and live victoriously. By rising above your past and realizing that your future happily awaits you, a new spirit of love and faith can come forth in you!

7. Be childlike, playful and embrace new challenges.

Children are playful and fun loving. So too should we be! Just because you are professional does not mean that you cannot be passionate and playful. Replace anxiety with creativity. Get back in the sand box of life and start playing around with new ideas, and concepts. Challenge the status quo! Challenge yourself! Break out of your rut by doing new things, learning new sports, participating in new activities, taking up new hobbies, engaging an entirely new social circle. Let newness flood your life and awake your love for self and surprises. As you do you will attract new life and love to you!

Learn of and from love. Learn of the Creator who lovingly gave Himself both to and for us so we can daily experience heaven on earth. Learn from love as you endeavor to give your love away to others and be the recipient of their love to you. Giving and receiving love is the most rewarding human experience. The agape love from above truly is better than life itself. Life without love is empty and meaningless. Life motivated by love is purposeful and glorious!




Paul Davis is author of Breakthrough for a Broken Heart a book telling us how to "Overcome disappointments and blossom into your dreams!" He is a fitness trainer, minister, life coach (relational & professional), dating expert, popular worldwide keynote speaker, creative consultant, humor being, adventurer, explorer, mediator, liberator and dream-maker.

Paul's compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has also brought revival to many in war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His nonprofit organization Dream-Maker Ministries is building dreams and breaking limitations.

Paul's Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

Paul can be contacted at: RevivingNations@yahoo.com 407-967-7553 or 407-282-1745

For additional info: [http://www.CreativeCommunications.TV] and http://www.DreamMakerMinistries.com




Energy of Love


Love is the energy that has created the Universe and all that is within it. Love is the most powerful energy in the Universe!

There is an organic Love that speaks to everyone, if only we would hear. Wherever there is Love there is peace, joy, fulfillment, trust, and abundance.

The giving and receiving of Love opens the door to greater understanding and acceptance.

Without Love there is chaos, hate, anger, and fear. This is why some negative things are the way they are in our world. There needs to be more giving and receiving of Love there.

Love has a consciousness of its own. It cannot be contained or defined by words. And, even though we often try to do so, Love cannot be labeled as a certain thing.

There is nothing that you cannot do with Love. However, the things you do with Love can only be positive and for the highest benefit of all.

Love is the nutrition of the Universe and everything in it, including ourselves. With Love all things are possible. The Energy of Love is the only thing you need to solve any problem you may have.

Love can be sent to any place you plan to go. . . a meeting, a party, an interview, wherever! Send Love there prior your being there and notice the positive difference it makes.

You can send Love to another person. The Love you send will affect that person in whatever way is best for them, no matter what you do.

Love can also be sent to pets, plants. . . to anything anywhere and to any situation!

You can send Love into the food you are preparing, or right before eating it. Love is absorbed by the food, increasing the life energy and improving the taste.

The food you have filled with Love is absorbed by cells in your body and has a lot of positive energy and healing properties.

Love does not control nor does it manipulative. Love allows. . .

Your thoughts, words and actions are directly associated with the amount of Love you have in your life. When you are surrounded by Love you tend to feel happier, more confident, more secure.

The vibrational Energy of Love is very magnetic. The more you love and accept yourself as you are, the more you attract love from others. You will manifest loving, empowering and abundant situations in your life.

Fill yourself with Love to the point where you become radiant with the Energy of Love. This raises your energy vibration. As a result, people and animals will be attracted to you and will try to be near you.

Love heals and brings peace, joy, compassion, abundance, contentment to everything and everyone.

You have an endless supply of Love. You cannot exhaust the Love in the Universe even if you were to absorb it from now into eternity.

Feel what Love is like in your heart and body, and let Love guide you. Respond to all situations with Love. Live each moment in the magic of the Energy of Love.

Love is the glue that holds the Universe and all that is within it together. There is nothing but Love. The Love you want is in you, now. Love IS.

All this, and more, is the. . . Energy of Love!




At Charlsie's site you can download 7 Free chapters from 'Our Ultimate Reality', a Free 7 part Energy mini-course AND a Free 38 page Psychic Report. Simply go to: http://www.manifestinguniverse.com

For over 15 years Charlsie has been consciously on (and off, on and off. . . now back on!) the path to transformation and greater awareness. Much of her time is spent observing nature, exploring metaphysics and pondering on the so-called mysteries of our Universe. Charlsie has read extensively about energy and the various modalities of energy work and is certified in all levels of Reiki.




Saturday, October 29, 2011

Sacre Love - Be in Your Element in Love - an Ayurvedic Perspective of Relationships that Last


I will summarise these body types here for you

o Earth People - Stocky

o Water People - Round and fleshy

o Fire people - Medium muscular

o Air People - Short thin

o Ether - Tall thin

Ether / Ether

Tranquillity meets wisdom. Life is filled with unlimited ideas, beautiful thoughts, deep and wise conversations, and peaceful and fulfilling discussions. Not bothered about right and wrong. They seek knowledge from each other.

In this relationship two people will reach for the skies and no amount of reality will thwart them. It's a dream come true. High above the clouds two Ether Predominant people will dream and fantasise about the world as it should be or even could be. Space, space, and more space is needed for you both to thrive. They are into touch and feel and sensual delights. Long courtship, foreplay and plenty of after sex conversations means these two need to set the alarm to get out of bed in the morning.

Alarm Bells: It is easy to be dwarfed by Ether, so Etheric, so out there, so sure of themselves that sometimes Ether on Ether means one of the two of you might gravitate to their second element in order to support the other." Warning bells ring here. The unhappiest people have changed their natural constitutional behaviour in order to make another person happy. Hold yourself equal to your partner.

Ether / Air

A new theme meets a perfect caption! Tranquil Ether has met dynamic Air. It is almost like Ether suddenly discovered a new window, overlooking the most beautiful ocean after being in the same room for half a century.

Dreams are now poems. No more just formless dreams, they are spoken words now. These are two creative and dynamic lovers always inventive and tactile. When they can concentrate and relax their minds, the smooth rhythm of Air merges with the outlandish fantasies of Ether to create quite an athletic duo. Far away in some distant land it may all make sense but to an observer these two are visitors from a different world.

Alarm Bells: Although Air is the master communicator; it is often quantity rather than quality that can make working this relationship, a challenge. Air can't help itself, it must share, it must communicate, the rest is irrelevant for tomorrow there will be more, the download can take forever, and listening is not crucial - just a nod every now and then can suffice. Ether thinks a lot, and that's a bit frustrating for Air, especially when Air is talking and Ether is thinking. You both need space, quiet and agreements on talk time.

Ether / Fire

Ideas on Fire. A flame learns to be still. Being with Ether is meditation for Fire. Now, Fire feels cantered, gets more focused at least enough to become more precise.

Love is on Fire for the first time! It's love at first bite. Fire lights the flame and Ether has no interest in putting it out. Its all systems on go. There are places to go, people to see, new ideas to share and no time to waste. It's a lifetime in a week. Everything is possible, the rocket is alight and the ideas are aflame. As lovers anything and everything is possible. With Ethers fantasies and Fires obsessions, this couple can become bed ridden. How long can it last? Oh they both look worn and tired but through it all, lust and love merge for Fire and Ether and life only gets better.

Alarm Bells: Ideas won't work by themselves. Ether doesn't realise it easily. Fire smells it from miles away. Fire's growing appetite and obsession with the results can drive Ether away. The sacrificial love, the sacred Fire of this relationship can begin to burn out if they don't do some careful maintenance. Fire becomes obsessed, Ether begins to drift, the energy is hard to sustain, the highs were highs and the lows can be low. Trust, loyalty and expectations can make this relationship sour easily. It is up to you both to cut each other some understanding. Fire needs space and Ether can provide support.

Ether / Water

Blue sky touches a full river. Water gets a new world of ideology in addition to its nurturing nature. Ether witnesses a new practical meaning to their philosophy, that of giving. Calmness surrounds them.

Ether, all of a sudden, thinks about a family. The feminine aspect meets the divine and the powers of the heavens merge with Mother Nature. This couple can glide through life, giving and taking, sharing a wonderful sensual and exciting existence. The diversity of their element guarantees lots of laughs and the softness of their nature's guarantees stillness. If you are the Ether-Water pair, celebrate the great gifts that nature has brought your way.

Alarm Bells: "When are you going to start taking responsibility?" Water is irritated finally. Indifferent Ether makes Water think that he is selfish and obsessive. The combination of Ether and Water, although a heavenly pair, may just find that too much of a good thing can become mundane. Water's contentment and Ether's virtual reality can clash from time to time. The whole world may begin to become irrelevant, and the relationship may take on a meaning much bigger than ever intended. Be careful to maintain a healthy aspect of exercise, travel and social life.

Ether / Earth

Philosophy is finally put into practice! If Ether inspires Earth with ideas, Earth can spend their whole life on it until fruition. Ether never has seen this before!

The beauty of this love is its dichotomy. The sparks will fly, the flint is often ignited in a positive sense, and this makes for all manner of sexual gymnastics. It makes for creative development and manifestation. This couple can imagine and make it real. It's a formidable duo when the world of the arts considers that such a pair is a stereotype of the great artists. Manifestors who need the muse, and creators who need management. This is the joy and the bliss of this union, a creative but grounded love affair that will never ever be boring (unless one or the other gets too dominant). Earth gives love by protecting Ether from the ravages of the world. Ether gives love by inspiring Earth to achieve their dreams.

Alarm Bells: Control, control, control Ether don't like the way they are treated. The problem may lie in the fact that Ether don't need protection and are happy with things as they are.

So there is a giving that might not be appreciated. There is a loving that might be seen as controlling. It really isn't wrong, just confusing.

If this is your elemental combination, be mindful that the way you see the world of your partner is just that, your view, not always theirs. If you can understand each others elements, you can thank each other for the love, laugh at the different forms, and get on with life.

Air / Air

Dynamic duo. Carefree spirits. Life is full of freedom for them. Friendly lovers? Not impossible. These are linguistic kings and queens, a magnificent merging of spirits, two blessed and happy souls merging in this relationship to find that conversation is a cornerstone of their love nest. Fun, light and open they celebrate life at every turn and find that making things happen is a great joy for them both, while together. People love to be around air - air relationships, they are infectious spreading love and happiness. Sometimes they get so wrapped in each other that they forget that the world is round, it's just one big rose garden for these two kindred spirits.

Alarm Bells: Two angry cats in a bag? Scattered brain? Blocked communication? Inconsistent and unreliable to each other? Don't know what to say? Insecure relationship? You can talk non-stop about this breaking down relationship at the office or in the bed.

If you over wind an alarm clock the spring eventually snaps and so too, Air and Air can wind each other up until they are off the planet. They can emotionalise each other, spin each other out and there's no stopping them. They may very well attack each other instead of taking responsibility to be self aware and self-responsible, and get out of trouble. Be careful my two Air friends - avoid blame at all cost and you will celebrate love forever.

Air / Fire

Dancing winds and a blazing flames!

The relationship is exciting, spontaneous, never bored and light hearted. What dynamics have you chosen? A joyful, fun loving experience with a wild and wonderful life existing between Fire and Air. Everything is possible, with a minimum of fuss. You'll love each other's ideas, be in a hurry to do whatever comes to mind and can keep up with each other's fast pace of change. A sexy couple, you'll find great holiday resorts, fantastic bush walking trips and places to make love no one else has thought of yet. A powerful and wonderful dynamic.

Alarm Bells: Thinking is like talking for Air while living is undertaking action for Fire. While Air talks about it, Fire starts doing it. Air people often change their minds while Fire people may have already committed themselves to it. Then Air changes their mind again and now, Fire is frustrated. Try to understand each other. Air needs a listener, not a doer.

Fire needs to practice 'calm' before they 'storm' into action, especially when dealing with Air. Air needs to do their homework before presenting an idea in this ever-changing world, especially to Fire. Try creating cooling-off periods before action on any new venture or idea. You'll have so much joy and happiness in this relationship as long as you take those precautions.

Air / Water

Elusive air and embracing Water signals an affair of Air and rain clouds. As the Water learns to flow with grace, Air learns to make ripples in Water.

Ahh bliss - the contented pair, the soul mates, who are never apart. Air and Water live in harmony so much so the world becomes an intrusion. Water loves to nurture, Air loves to be nurtured. Water loves to listen and air loves to share. What bliss could befall these two elements co-habiting. To top it all the sex will be beyond comprehension. Long, slow, fun and sensual. A wonderful symbiotic bond means the physical attraction is blended with heart and mind to make a 'Kamasutra' experience automatically.

Alarm Bells: Nature and nurture, the contradiction in the universe. To stay or go, to move forward or celebrate life as it is, Air loves ideas and thoughts and is always looking to improve, invent and develop new and exciting solutions. Water is happy evolving as the need arises. The challenge in this relationship is to manage growth, to decide on when and where to act. Water will wait while air will be impatient to open new doors. Love each other and see that it is the combination of the two of you that really makes the right pace. Love will blossom but be mindful to respect the differences.

Air / Earth

Communication in action. Air, being a voracious talker, articulates well and the Earth is in constant motion. Earth can try to match that in action! Now if there was in ancient times the model of the warrior and the lover, Air and Earth would be it. The brave hands on hero and the angelic being floating in his or her mind - the flowing silks set against the stone walls of the impenetrable castle walls. Yes, we know the hero always wins but his or her secret is always the angel of love. You two will live the magnificence of the ancients. Grapes always in hand to drip into each other's mouths. Undying loyalty and faithfulness, protector and angel, sweet and sour, ice cream and jelly, this is the life that built the pyramids, and you will do that and more.

Alarm Bells: Duty calls Earth, there's that time in the movie when the hero must decide, love or duty, and there is always a tearing of the heart. Air floats on love, Earth survives on duty. The challenge in the real world is priorities. Earth needs to meet his or her obligations and Air can change them in a moment. The daily challenges of work and play, of love and material is the cross you both must bear. Strong lines of demarcation, clear time allocation and no compromise work-home boundaries will make this relationship sail into the future, the maidenhead flying in the wind, the masts trimmed to perfection and the ship, ship shape as always.

Fire / Fire

An explosive, fast and furious team, this is the best combination to analyse and resolve any problem. Here the two Fires can feed each other with what they both need most: stroking. They understand each other, play together intensely, climb mountains together, are part of the same football team, collect stamps together. They are persistent and demanding lovers - looking for excitement, playing near the boundaries, a virile and demanding regularity, Fire and Fire are kindred spirits in all physical aspects of life.

Alarm Bells: Competition can be destructive and jealousy can easily flare up. This competition can kill their bodies. Beyond human action plans and heartless strategies. Premature greying, aging and wrinkling will tell you all about it. Ahh, but there's a catch. Competition means Fire on Fire might just begin to unconsciously play games. Physically they may meet, and in love they may be kindred spirits, but their minds may play games. Jealousy, insecurity and uncertainty can befall the Fire/Fire couple and then a gap can appear. If you are in a Fire/Fire relationship, be alert so that you do not become obsessed with winning - or being right all the time. It's a 50/50 win-win situation. Your partner has strengths in places you don't and for that they can champion your cause.

Fire / Water

A 'precise and caring' team.

Fire spices up the Water's romance. Water formulates recipes. Fire falls intensely in love with them, markets them brilliantly and it's a great family business. Fire and Water, just think about the combination. Fire can turn Water to steam and Water can put the Fire out. A beautiful balancing act of moderation, fun and joyfulness, a great tenderness and beautiful softness that can sweep these two into love's embrace. Deep and meaningful, long and sensual you two are made for warm nights in front of the open fire. A great working combination, a sensitive caring couple you can also use your energies to help others who don't understand love and life. The romance is physical, emotional and heartfelt. A tender touching and most romantic relationship filled with all the beauty life can bring. Lucky Water, lucky Fire - you were made for soft moments and juicy sex.

Alarm Bells: Fire can take things for granted. It just might become too easy, too comfortable and then resentment can surface. Water thinks Fire is heartless and Fire thinks Water doesn't have any business intentions. Without lots of communication, this polar opposite can fall apart easily. Hey you two, you are in love and there's more to love than just smooching around. Remember the weeks of romance, the honeymoon, that's not for special occasions - it's how it needs to be every day. You both need to make a conscious effort to support and impress each other. With this you are destined to be in a long and happy relationship.

Fire / Earth

Fast and practical partners. They rebuild worlds faster than any other team. Earth gives Fire solid fuel. Fire loves it. Fire burns, transforms and changes the world.

The love will build and material strength will support you both. The world is your oyster and you can rest assured that the energy between you will be thankful, hopeful and joyous. Sustaining the Fire - building the ground beneath your feet will come easily, the team you are is formidable. In bed - well there'll be hours and hours and hours of magic, vital life giving lovemaking.

Alarm Bells: The alarm bells for this relationship are purely self created - Earth may slow to a crawl wanting to put things in order - Fire may see new horizons and growth may be in separate directions. When this happens, destinies part. The future is built into your dreams. Earth - keep up - Fire be mindful not to go off in all directions for the sake of change. Boredom can kill any relationship - guarantee your future - keep growing together.

Water / Water

They are born to nurture each other and anyone around them. Intelligent Water/Water team can hold your attention for hours. They are deep lakes of stillness, calm oceans of silence. When the water moves, you see them everywhere inside, outside and around you.

Intimate and deep relationships are also sensual and intensely emotional. Not many words, but lots of expression, emotional commitments, heaven on earth, love cocoon, two teddy bears hibernating in winter, and with the door shut and the curtains drawn its time for love and smiles and snuggles and cuddles. Two Buddha's deep in compassion, peace and love everywhere signal a reality for any two beings, whose love and passion are soft and comfortable. The joy is infinite, the warmth, and radiant. You two can become a universe in a capsule. There's no turning back, it's slow and steady and long and generous. A giving, snuggling and mushy world of kisses and cuddles and lots of care about the world around you.

Alarm Bells: Food, joy, cuddles and love. What bliss. What about the real world? What happened in the last 5 years? Did you follow up on your career? What happened to the bank account and your health? Be careful Waters for still Waters run deep but they also form swamps. Be mindful of the other six areas of your life. Keep yourself healthy and diversify your interests, otherwise you may end up unable to celebrate love because there's not enough energy or time.

Water / Earth

Water is poetry to Earth's facts. Rocks start melting And Water gets some good grounds.

Earth makes the decisions. Water brings the romance. Hold onto your seats ladies and gentlemen, because these two are about to go on a roller coaster ride which is wonderfully sensual, physical and emotional through thousands of years of history, journeying through the great rivers and canyons and up the tops of the highest mountains. A great celebration of mother Earth, the Water Earth combination screams with rapture at the meeting of minds and hearts. Its one out of the box, a relationship filled with gifts and giving of hugs and holding. A deeply passionate and wildly sexual meeting of hearts! Lucky you two, have fun.

Alarm Bells: Earth wants control and Water refuses it. Earth thinks and Water feels, so there's often a conflict between values and what comes from the tender heart of Water and what comes from the gentle mind of Earth can often arouse much disagreement. How does on then, move forward? Well it's a matter of compromise - don't negotiate - just work on the values, which are important and hold on to them. You can do it, the twinkle in your eyes and the love in your heart can overcome these small challenges.

Earth / Earth

This team is extremely stable and productive, built to last and born to build. They accumulate a lot of wealth and property.

Now here's a couple you'd never ever want to mess with. They have it under control, they know what they want and will protect each other to the death - Romeo and Juliet were Earth and Earth. A couple, whose love died with their bodies. If you are in an Earth/Earth relationship, jump for joy you are about to celebrate the depth of life from which everything is possible. Don't worry about long term - you two are glued at the soul. Loyalty and certainty are your strength.

Alarm Bells: Life can be boring if earth/earth can't get out of their 'repetitive' nature and 'pathologically organised fun'. It can be intense. You both love order, and you both love to be in control, how can you live together like that. In this relationship there is need for balance, and understanding. To evolve together you need time out, tenderness relaxation and just chill time. You need to draw the line at control issues, need clear boundaries so that there's just no confusion whose life is whose. Otherwise, there may be just one too many rules.




Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au




Friday, October 28, 2011

Sex or Attachment: Why Do We Fall in Love, Really?


Poets have tried to describe it with rhymes, romance novelist attempt to emulate it with written emotion and seduction, and songwriters have tried to create it with melody and lyrics. Now, scientists believe they have identified parts of the brain, which are linked to feelings of true love.

So, why do we fall in love?

We don't need scientists to tell us that love makes us feel good. But because we are an inquisitive species, we are always asking the question "Why?"

Experts believe that by understanding the neurochemical pathways that regulate social attachments may help to understand why certain individuals possess an inability to form relationships and permanent attachments to others.

Dr. Helen E. Fisher, author of "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love" did ask this question. And she got her answer.

Dr. Fisher, a researcher anthropologist at Rutgers University, New Brunswick, New Jersey, has made it her life's work to try to understand romantic love and has been studying the evolution of human sexuality, marriage and divorce, gender differences in the brain, as well as the behavior, and the future of men, women, sex and family life since 1983.

Her recent studies have focused on issues of gender, sex, and romantic love.

Dr. Fisher and her team of specialists conducted a study by scanned the brains of people who were acutely in love.

What she found was that there are three very distinct stages of love: sex drive, romantic love, and attachment.

1) Sex Drive / Lust

Lust is driven by sex hormones--testosterone and oestrogen--that involves the craving for sex. According to Jim Pfaus, a psychologist at Concordia University, these hormones are what get us "out on the pull." Dr. Pfaus states that the aftermath of lustful sex is similar to the state induced by taking opiates. A heady mix of chemical changes occurs, including increases in the levels of serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and endogenous opioids (the body's natural equivalent of heroin). "This may serve many functions, to relax the body, induce pleasure and satiety, and perhaps induce bonding to the very features that one has just experienced all this with", says Dr Pfaus.

2) Attraction / Romantic Love

After lust comes attraction. This is the love-struck phase; the time when we lose our appetite, can't sleep, and can't concentrate. This is what we know as falling in love.

Attraction, or the state of being in love, what is sometimes known as romantic or obsessive love, is a refinement of mere lust that allows people to home in on a particular mate. This state is characterized by feelings of exhilaration, and intrusive, obsessive thoughts about the object of one's affection.

When we fall in love, our palms sweat, we can stutter and become breathless, we can't think clearly and it feels like we have butterflies in our stomachs. This is all due to surging brain chemicals called monoamines. They are called dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. Norepinephrine and serotonin excite us, while dopamine makes us feel happy. These love chemicals are controlled by a substance which is also found in chocolate and in strawberries, called PEA or phenylethylamine and it is PEA which controls the transition from lust to love.

Arousal comes naturally. But long-term success in mating requires a change from being naive about this state to knowing the precise factors that lead from arousal to the rewards of sex, love and attachment. For some, this may involve flowers, chocolate and sweet words.

The body builds up tolerance to these chemicals therefore requiring more of the "substance" to get that special feeling of infatuation. People who jump from relationship to relationship crave the intoxication of falling in love and may be "attraction junkies". In the case of romance readers - This may also explain the reason fans of romance novels my feel they have an addiction to the feeling they get after reading a romantic scene from a novel. The sub-conscious brain can't distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality. These feelings are still very real to the brain because it creates the same chemicals rather if they are created authentically or not.

In the case of enduring romances, the continued presence of a partner stimulates production of endorphins which are soothing substances and natural pain-killers.

Dr Helen Fisher, states, "We believe romantic love is a developed form of one of three primary brain networks that evolved to direct mammalian reproduction."

Dr. Fisher explains that "Romantic love is one of three basic brain circuits that evolved for reproduction: the sex drive motivates all of us to look for a range of partners. Romantic love, the elation and obsessive thinking that is produced when you first fall in love, focuses our mating energy on just one individual. "Following that, attachment sets in, the calm and security you can feel with a long term mate, enabling you to sustain your relationship to rear your children as a team.

She continues to say that "Romantic love is the most powerful, and the beginning of the cascade. And what we found in our brain scanning experiments is that romantic love is a drive, an instinct that arises from primitive parts of the brain associated with dopamine, a powerful stimulant. Romance is a chemical high, which is why your beloved begins to take "special meaning."

3) Long-term Attachment

The third stage of love is attachment - staying together. Attachment takes over from the attraction stage and is the bond which keeps couples together.

Wonderful though it is, romantic love is unstable--not a good basis for child-rearing. But the final stage of love, long-term attachment, allows parents to co-operate in raising children. This state, says Dr Fisher, is characterized by feelings of calm, security, social comfort and emotional union.

Because they are independent, these three systems can work simultaneously--with dangerous results. As Dr Fisher explains, "you can feel deep attachment for a long-term spouse, while you feel romantic love for someone else, while you feel the sex drive in situations unrelated to either partner." This independence means it is possible to love more than one person at a time, a situation that leads to jealousy, adultery, and divorce. Additionally, the possibilities of promiscuity and polygamy may occur, with the likelihood of extra children, and thus a bigger stake in the genetic future, that those behaviors bring. As Dr Fisher observes, "We were not built to be happy but to reproduce."

o The sex drive evolved to motivate individuals to seek sex with any appropriate partner.

o Attraction, the mammalian precursor of romantic love, evolved to enable individuals to pursue preferred mating partners, thereby conserving courtship time and energy.

o The brain circuitry for male-female attachment evolved to enable individuals to remain with a mate long enough to complete species-specific parenting duties.

The stages of love vary somewhat between the sexes. Lust, for example, is aroused more easily in men by visual stimuli than is the case for women. This is probably why visual pornography is more popular with men. And although both men and women express romantic love with the same intensity, and are attracted to partners who are dependable, kind, healthy, smart and educated, there are some notable differences in their choices.

Men are more attracted to youth and beauty, while women are more attracted to money, education and position. When an older, unattractive man is seen walking arm-in-arm with a young and beautiful woman, most people assume the man is rich or powerful.

Dr. Fisher believes that several forces play a role in whom we fall in love with. Timing is important; you tend to fall in love when you are ready. Proximity is crucial; we fall for people we interact with. Both men and women are excited by those who are mysterious--probably because mystery triggers the activity of dopamine in the brain. And both sexes tend to fall in love with those of a similar background and values, which anthropologists call "positive assortive mating" or "fitness matching."

We also fall in love with someone who fits within what's called your "love map. This is an unconscious list of traits you seek in your ideal partner that you build as you grow up.

But there is even more to falling in love: biology. We are unconsciously attracted to those who complement ourselves biologically, as well as socially, psychologically and intellectually. We fall in love with someone who has a different chemical profile for dopamine, serotonin, estrogen and testosterone that complements our own.

Essentially, each stage is a separate and distinct phenomenon, with its own emotional and motivational system, with accompanying essential brain chemicals. This system of stages has evolved to enable mating, pair-bonding and parenting to ensure the continuation of the human race.

Scientists have even concluded that the female orgasm may have evolved to help women distinguish Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong.

Love lights up the caudate nucleus because it is home to a dense spread of receptors for a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which Dr. Fisher came to believe as part of our own endogenous love potion. In the right proportions, dopamine creates intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention, and motivation to win rewards.

Sex drive, attraction, romantic love, timing, proximity, biology, brain chemicals... So why do we fall in love? More importantly, does it really matter? As a true supporter of romantic love and as a romance novelist--I believe love is it's own reward and need not be analyzed anywhere but in our own hearts!

Oh... and here's the fun part: According to research, the more couples have sex together... the more likely they are to bond. How's that for motivation!

Bonnie Williams - Copyright (C) 2006

Sources: Forbes.com - 06/28/04; Mattew Herper - The Science of Love, NewScientist.com - 05/05/04; Anil Ananthaswamy - Hormones Converge for Couples in Love, CNN.com - 11/08/00; Lew Orleans, LA - Love Makes You Light Up - Even Your Brain, National Geographic - 02/2006; Love, BBC News Online - 07/05/00; How the Brain Registers Love, TheEconomist.com - 02/12/04; The Science of Love, Chemistry.com - (2006); Helen Fisher - Science of Attraction, Fisher, Helen (2004). Why We Love - the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, Henry Holt and Company.




Bonnie Louise Williams is the author of three erotic romance novels, an online romantic comedy series, and several erotic short stories. To join her free newsletter visit her website at www.LoveandRomanceEtc.com or to order Bonnie?s erotic romance novels, visit www.BonnieLouiseWilliams.com




The Seven Realms of Love


The First Realm of Love - The Physical Realm

I love you. I Love the look of you. I have got to have you in my life. I can't live without you. I am desperate for you. You are everything I have dreamed and more. I am aroused by you, and therefore, cannot live without you. You are perfect. I am yours and you are mine. You have no fault. I cannot think of any reason that our love will not last. I want to own you, marry you, posses you. I give up my life for you. I am infatuated with you.

I know this is highly charged. I am blinded by this love. I will throw away my dreams, my passions and my ambitions just to be with you. I also know, as people have warned me, that this love, this passion, this fire is unsustainable, but I am blind. I am blinded by my emotion and the chemistry that rushes through my veins. I have been warned, but my life was hell before I met you, and now it is heaven. Oh, even for just this one day, this love, this fire, this mindlessness, is worth it.

The passion is physical, the drives are uncontrollable. The problem is that it can't last, it's life shattering when it breaks and there is really no way to avoid it. This is the lowest most primal level of love and subsequently the most extreme.

The second realm of Love - My mind

I love you. I think like you. Our dreams are so similar. I believe what you believe and I think what you think. I know we are right in our way of life. We are on common ground, we live to this code, and this code is ours. We agree, we like the same paintings, we like the same holidays. We are of the same mind, we are in love.

I have told people that they should be like you. They should be good and they should be happy. I have told brothers and friends and family what they should be doing. Now I have met you, there is no need, because we agree. We agree the world should be as we dream it should be.

This level of love is so intellectual. It is based on ideals. If you fit my picture I love you, if you don't I hate you. This is religious love. Righteous and conditional. There are so many expectations at this level one of the two partners has to be submissive and therefore inevitably become resentful. This is the typical, western, good citizen, relationship. A perfect lie.

The third realm of love - Emotion

I love you. I cry at the thought of you. I write these poems of love for you; poems that express this romance, this beauty, this feeling so deep inside me. From the moment I met you I knew I loved you. I felt it deep in my core. I am sad without you, I am angry if I can't be with you. I feel good around you, you make me happy, I want you near me all the time because it makes me feel so good, I need you in my life.

You are my sun, my morning, my every breath. You are the dew on my skin and the sun in my heart. I breathe you, and these roses, this gift, this meal, this wine, this touch on your shoulder, sends shivers down my spine. I hold your photograph close to my heart and I celebrate you with happiness. I wait for your call.

I am sorry for my reaction when you came home late. I am sorry for being angry. I can't help it. I feel so wonderful and I feel so vulnerable. I feel you when I walk. Oh my love, may this feeling, this romance, last forever between us. I am sorry about those swings in my mood. They are totally unexplainable. Oh, my love, be mine forever.

The joy is uncontrollable, the surrender is complete, the love feels merged and soulful. This level of love is mesmerizing. Two lovers will fall into each others arms and the romance is wonderful. Great holidays and great idea, great romantic nights and more. However, emotion has no substance. The same emotion that gets a couple into this love, is the same emotion that burns them out, or attracts them to others. Emotional people cannot hold integrity. Emotions are environmental reactions. Never trust emotion. (or emotional people)

The forth realm of love - The heart

I love you. Whether you come or go in my life, I love you. No matter whether you are well or sick, for better, for worse, for richer or poorer, all the days of my life. I will love you. I will love you no matter what happens. I will love you. I know I love you. You and I are in love. It is destiny, we are friends for life, I love you.

I want you to be happy my love. Yes, why don't you travel and see the world. Why not move to Africa and work, I will always be here for you. I want the family to be happy. I care so much for you. I want to hold you close, keep you warm. I want your life to be wonderful, and even more wonderful because of me.

I am happy that you are moving on from me. Yes, we are close friends. We have achieved a wonderful depth to our love, so much so, that you feel like my sister, or brother or something. I want you to be happy, and our friendship is vital. We can work together, be friends together forever.

I am a bit sorry that the romance went out of our relationship. That we are such wonderful friends is amazing, but I really hoped that we would stay passionate. We grew away from that passion we had when we first met. Maybe we should have spent more time playing. I love you always, my love and my friend, forever.

The beauty of this love is that it is honoring. It honors individuality. It honors self, this love is based on independence. It is the domain of the hurt, the afraid, the self created ego master who claims spiritual or self actualization. People in this level of love are forever lonely, in spite of being convinced they are able to love, unconditionally. Here there is simply no surrender.

The Fifth realm of love - Devotion

I love you. Deep in my heart I have known that one day I would find you. I knew that there was a lover, somewhere, whose life mission, whose life passion would weave with mine to create something magnificent on this earth. We are like two musicians whose life purpose apart is quadrupled in value together.

We will serve our mission in life together. You bring gifts and I bring gifts and with these together, our highest calling will be to share these with the world. I love you deeply; I celebrate all the four realms of love with you, and now, this, our purpose in life.

This is more than me, this is more than you, this is sacred, our purpose together. We can do what we love in life and share that journey together. Thank you for opening your heart and your life for me. We are bound together by more than a contract of intimacy and love; we are bound by our commitment to something bigger than both of us. I devote my love to you, I know in this way we will give what we are born to give. My love is eternal, thank you.

This relationship appears to lack the physical grunt and pump of the infatuated lovers. But these two people love each other because they live and work and share the journey of life together. They need to be careful to make sure they don't drift through life and forget those lower levels of love that are required as a foundation for this one.

The Sixth realm of love - Inspired

I love you. Oh stillness of the night, let my mind be calm, my soul be content, let my love become one with yours. We were two, we are one. We bind at all levels, from the physical and romantic to the emotional and fantastic. But most of all, we bind in light.

I walk with you, no matter where you go. I sleep with you no matter what you know. I am with you, always, awake or asleep; this is my eternal love. More than a pledge, it is real. I know your breath, I know your heart. I am not away, I am in your thought, in your realm, we are one, and we are bound.

Know me my love and you will know you. Dive each day through the emotion and challenge and anytime you choose, you will find me. Choose love and I am here. It is one step beyond, yet more real than they know. Let me hold you without arms, let me touch you without sound, see me without eyes, I am you, we are one, in love.

There is no me, I or you in this level of love. It is a rare relationship that reaches this level. Too many distractions, drawn down to lower realms by the ego, by the fear and search for God. This level of love is only for those ready to throw themselves into something sacred, and make their relationship the pinnacle of their spiritual and religious journey. Religious and guru worshiping people cannot reach this level of love in relationship.

The Seventh Realm - Unconditional love

I love you. Emptiness. I cannot know time. I love you. Emptiness. I cannot know space. You are not in form, although I know your love. You are not in sound, although I hear your call. We are one soul, one love, one now.

Beyond the realms where voices speak, we are bound more strong than lovers who weep. We sit without mind; we sit in that time and we know each other. I know you when I see mountains so high, a lake so still, a wind so kind. I know you when nature reminds me, I am loved, I am loved, I am loved.

I look to the stars and there you are. I look to the moon; it's not so far. I look into nothing, to the beauty of all, and there you are, not so far at all. Invisible one, I can see you in the beauty of the simplest world. Never so far. Never so far.

The third mind, the soul, the human spirit knows no sense of self, other, right or wrong. It is mesmerized by the beauty of existence and hence it is beyond the boundary of distraction. The glimpse of the infinite is found in this realm of love. Lovers rise for seconds to this place in orgasm. The sacred relationship holds that as it's most potent truth.

Synopsis of Chapter in Sacred Love, a book about relationships that last forever.




Chris Walker
http://www.chriswalker.com.au




Thursday, October 27, 2011

Sacred Love - Relationship Problem Solving Made Easy Part 11


Solving problems in relationships requires honesty, integrity and a downright simple understanding of where the answers are not....

1/ Nobody does anything to you more that you do to yourself

2/ Blame doesn't work

3/ If you can't go back you are carrying baggage

4/ Sex is not the answer

5/ you are the same person, in or out of relationship

6/ Love is not attachment, control, possession, need or anything like that.

7/ Laughter is health

8/ Busy - ness kills love.

9/ Everything is possible without changing anything.

The person who is in relationship, fearing loneliness, fearing a repeat of the past is committing a very high form of abuse. They are living in an independence, a bubble of delusion unable to open to truth they apply the laws of relationship and set boundaries like this is what I want and this is what I need. and this is what I don't need. So they are loving with their mind. Mind love is mind games, substituting ideas for investment, substituting their rules for love. In this relationship the hardness of rock can be compared to it. Like a religious seeker, or a devotee, they cannot love, just repeat their priest or guru, and say this is how it is, this is how it shoud be. It's like western people wearing a sari and saying "I am indian" a false representation. there cannot be love in this situation, only imprisonment of the spirit.

We need a home. We need a physical and emotional home. Yes, this is really important. Emptiness is the lack of a home. We fear emptiness, because now our mind is not validated as representing our home (knowledge and righteousness) our emotions are found to be delusional they are no longer validated as being our home. Our money can be stolen or our possessions lost, so if these are our home we become fearful that our lover will steal our safety, living always in worry and problems. Our dreams are no home, they are hopes and ambitions and blind recitation of second hand knowledge is really no home because it takes so little to debunk it. Emptiness exists behind all this. Behind the bricks and mortar that you call home, behind the veil of your spiritual or religious practice there is loneliness and emptiness. Here is the love that is possible.

Homelessness is Godliness. You won't want to accept it because your ego will be fighting for it's own survival. How can I live without the bricks and mortar and the rights and wrongs of my morality? And you are right to argue this. How can you live without the contructions? there is in fact no need to live without them, but the day you validate them as something measurable, something real and significant, then you have forfeit the very reason your own soul incarnated into this life. If there is no love, then all that is really the barrier, there cannot be a God in a heart that cannot love.

We build homes. Titles, trophies, families, wealth, careers, knowledge, we can repeat, store, possess and accumulate so much that if the earth stopped turning we'd still be wealthy. But we cannot build a home to camouflage our emptiness.

Nothing. Empty. A vacuum. A black hole in the universe. A nothingness that is unbarable. The experience of the meditator. the witnessing of the depressed. The hopelessness of the suicide victim. A place condemned by the material surface of the shallow worlds of repition nad conformity, yet, sanctified by those who know love. Santified by all the great teachers, prophets and leaders of depth, emptiness, the place of genius, and brilliance in music, art and mathematics. the empty mind, is the sacred mind, the spirit of the mountain, here, now, empty but for this moment of existence. this is love.

Spirituality applied is the athlete who knows nothing other than this one millisecond of performance. This is the business person who, in a flash knows choices, a child on a swing who goes one swing to far, the love who falls without regard for the cost. This is the magic of love. Emotiness, the highest note sung by a performer.

So rare is this moment in the average life that we have become obsessed with sex. Because in the moment of climax this experience occurs. Months of persuit just for that one moment of climax, manipulation, distortion just for that one moment, when all else goes blank and the world ends. So complex has this become that the average person cannot even invest the effort in partnering for it would bring to much disturbance to their pleasure hunt, and hence they masturbate.

Obsessed with substitution, the average person can fall in love for moments, then, remember how it was forever. They have little preparedness to find the emptiness that guarantees love. If the average person were excited about nothing, inspired by life itself then the trend toward sex and the industry it sporns would be less. But this is not the case. Corporations design jobs for people who want to be safe and conform. So sex becomes their only outlet. In fact it is not sex or relationship at all that causes this obsession. It is that one moment of release, that moment of emptiness that we call loneliness, that moment of orgasm that causes this obsession. Emptiness is a human desire.

So why does the mind conform? Why are we obsessed with second hand knowledge? Why do we try to create relationships that are built on patterns? to understand these questions we must understand a little more about mind science.

It is quite a strange obsession this need to conform. It is not freedom, which most people aspire to. It is not independence which the spirit wants in order to express it's love. So the fact that we drive so hard to repeat what others have told us, in bibles and gita books seems to be driven by something very strong, given that the cost is so high.

We conform in order to gain intimacy. Intimacy is associated with security. A person who is insecure will seek intimacy through the process of conformity. This means that the individual is seaching for security through intimacy, and to do this they must label things as safe and unsafe. So, if they are labeled as a bhudist for example it might be safe. They could also label others as safe and unsafe by diagnosing them as depressed or liars. That is how we try to make sense of the world, by giving it a label. then there is security and in security there is intimacy of sorts. It is an open letter demanding conformity to a precedent of principles. Basically a request to ask the lover to lie or die.

Patterns are build out of conformity to a dogma, laws or principles. Patterns overcome fear, so the insecure person will demand patterns. They gain access to security by overcoming their fears by creating patterns for themselves and particularly others to follow. So, these patterns are helpful but they too cost. To live by patterns is to deny internal freedom, to deny love, it is a mind game in which disorder in relationship is guaranteed.

What builds patterns in relationships? Comparison is the first thing. That means that one person might compare themselves and their lover to someone else and demand that they meet that expectation. Like even comparison to how their ex husband or wife was not. We can build expectations out of the opposites can't we. We can build ideals and models of who we are looking to be with based on who we don't want to be with. Automatically by doing this we inject the mind into love and then there cannot be love. Can you see this?

Disorder in relationship is poison to it. Understanding can turn chaos to order. So knowledge is the enemy of order. Knowledge is disorder. Fools know everything. That person who knows how it can be, should be or could be done is the fool because this person mistakes knowledge for love. Knowledge blocks love. what you know about somebody only eliminates your insecurity, blocks your fears. Your knowledge is based on your information. That information you can say is wise or unwise but it comes from the mind, whether you call it intuition or not, it comes out and through the mind. So, disorder in the mind, is the result of knowledge, and knowledge comes mostly from experience. Experience is emotional incompleteness until it is love.

Experiences that are anything but love are delusional. So you might say, "I fell out of love with someone" and then want to fall in love with someone else, but you are actually lying to yourself. You became fearful, insecure and therefore you needed some knowledge in order to justify running away from that insecurity and you called them good or bad. But they are not the cause. You are the cause, your insecurity and need for patterns is the cause, because you are unable to face real love.

If you even leave a relationship it is unlikely that it would succeed if you went back because you will now have partial knowledge. You will not have understanding, or if you do, it will be blame and incomplete. Mostly we analyse things in order to know them and justify our judgements of them. To go back to a relationship you must not know anything. To go back, which is the best path, you must really just fall in love and have amnesia. What past? What other lovers? Who would care about such things? Only a person who is afraid of being hurt or afraid of falling down in love.

That is the key you see. Falling down in love is the necessity of it. You must be disappointed in order to really be into the sacredness of love. That void is falling down over and over. It only hurts your ego. Really love cannot hurt, or be hurt, only your ego can be hurt, and isn't that the mind, getting less and less control so that intimacy can appear. I don't mean conformity or safety I mean truth.

One lady who came to me for advice was obsessed with lies. She lied to her mother, her father, her ex husband and her lover. She lied to her son and her friends. She wanted patterns that were predicatable in her life so she lied in order to giove people the impression she was a conformist, a patterned individual so that she could have security. Her fear was that if she were honest she would be intimate with people. That intimacy would be real and take the form of love, both acceptance and rejection of herself. She wanted only pleasure in love so she lied. Everybody knew she lied. she thought that they didn't know. It was real because did get rejected but not for being herself, she got rejected because she lied to everyone.

Those people who want patterns - to conform must surround themselves with fools also. They are looking for more knowledge, actually confirmation of the same wounded knowledge that they possess. They look for flattery, and because of that, there can be no innocence in their life.

An innocent mind, has amnesia. It forgets the past. Not because it is avoiding it ot running away from it but because it has found only love in the past and therefore it sees only one white wall, one clear sheet of paper which it calls the past. The whole past merges into that one clean sheet of paper. It was all love. So tomorrow is not based on escaping from yesterday, to running away to find tomorrow. There is nothing to run from and nothing to fear from the past. They can fall in love when they choose with that person from the past because they are actually new.

Many times we run from the past. But actually those experiences are the fodder for deeper love. We run with knowledge and lack of understanding. We say "I will never do that again" but of course this is foolish. From that day, we can only say "if my mind accepts this pattern and that conformity I will open to love" in other words we live for the respt of our lives in delisuion, in mind.

That is why sex is so important to the delusioned mind. It has so much knowledge that the only place it can find solace is in the emptiness of release in sex. This mind is incapable of love except in that moment of orgasm. So it becomes obseesed with it. If that same mind were set free, without the patterns and insecurities it would find the same passion and fire in life itself and sex would become less if not totally unimportant.

The knowing mind lacks understanding. It lives completely out of the past. Nothing is new. It will say "that reminds me of what used to happen to me" and then there is automatic disorder. Disorder of the greatest level. Because nothing is new, evethying is compared to knowledge. The past. This also goes for the pleasures of life. Because this knowing mind compares the present to the past, it wants to repeat what bought pleasure before. It will say "if I could have this part of that person and that part of this person I would be happy" It lives in conformity to knowledge of the past.

But all wanting kills love. So that person who has knowledge, cannot love because they don't want this, and they do want that. Then there is ambition, desire to be something, someone, become something or someone, the whole mechanism is driven by comparison to who they are, who you are and what they want. Beware of this in your life and the those who approach you with their wanting love. They are disordered and will therefore have disordered relationships.

So why is love so difficult to sustain?

Love is difficult to sustain because we are self obsessed. We are obsessed with pleasure and how we are. We want to have,be and do so much that from that moment in life there can be no love, only ambtion. This is the fear of emptiness. Because in emptiness all our wanting finds no traction. There is no ambition possible in emptiness, and therefore love. It is empty, therefore everything we do makes no difference, everything we mimick makes no difference, repeating patterns makes no difference, self isolation (staying out of relationship) makes no difference. They just increase the minds sense of conformity and security. But this is as close as it gets.

We think that the more we strive, the more we conform, the more we develop patterns the more secure our life will be and therefore the more love we will have. This is the great mistake because love does not thrive in security, ego does. Love thrives in insecurity and disspappointment, where loneliness is real and embraced and where everything we ask for is refused us. That is where love is. That requires understanding, not knowledge. There is no complete knowledge, but there is complete understanding. Complete understanding means love. Understanding something, or some situation is to see how there is or was love in it. Then that understanding creates an open heart and those problems that can block our life to not deaden the spirit.

You can see these half people. They walk like everyone else, they talk like everyone else but they are not able to think like everyone else. They are not love. They and knowledge, and therefore only living out of experiences which are incomplete. These people say "I am happy" but anyone who says they are happy are not happy. They are in their mind having an upper. They compare, and therefore they are blind.

Love is not mind, memory, ambition, desire, expectation, conformity, exlusiveness, righteousness, pattern, ownership, security, fear, jealousy, demand or anything of these emotional states of self obsession. These are states that trying to create patterns and therefore intimacy out of security. They are built on running away from insecurity. Therefore this person cannot love. Love requires insecurity.

Kind, loving and tender people cannot be self important and therefore they must be able to love without a home. They must be fully open to the emptiness that is love, the vulnerability that is love without trying to put up their patterns and knowledge and say "if this and this then I can love" no, this is mind and there can be no love in this life.

It does not matter where the ambition comes from. Spiritually ambitious, business ambitious, health ambitious, family ambitious - these are all blockages in relationship. They may have their place outside but in love they are the toxin. They breed disorder, and that disorder breads the emotional suffereing and pain. That means that ambition and wanting keep people on the surface of love. Superficial lovers are those who cannot understand life as love, but instead, know all about what they want, what they don't want and what they deserve.

This is the periphery of love. Feelings, wantings, identification, knowledge, attachments, desire, trivia, conformity all come from self importance. Even an individual who has great loving powers will not know themselves if they are always wanting to be other than who they really are. Empty and lonely.

There are always problems. This is life. The question is whether you can understand that problem as yuour mind blocking love or whether you get more knowledge from that problem and therefore increase the blockage to love. You can choose. The important thing is that if you carry a problem from one day to the next, you will need pride and ambiton to deal with the lack of spirit in your life. Then sex obsession will drive the fire rather than the love of life. Remember, those who desire to be humble can never be humble.

As soon as we want, we kill love. Try to become empty, it is possible. If there is anything from your history, yesterday, last year or last 20 years that you have overcome with knowledge, maybe it is time to unlearn what ever you learned and fall back, into understanding, by finding where there was love, and where it was you who were blind. Love is everywhere. And your duty is to find it. That is how you solve problems daily.




http://www.chriswalker.com.au Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au -- http://www.chriswalker.com.au




About Love - Letting Go


At times we face a terrible moment in our lives when we realize we must lose someone we love. Whether the one we love is leaving us temporarily to go to a new school or job, or we are breaking up from a relationship, or our loved one is dying or has passed on, it is a very hard thing to let go of someone we love and to let them go on without us.

Perhaps the most terrible pain we may face in life is to lose someone near and dear to us. It may seem as if the pain of our loss will utterly destroy us. It may seem so terrible that we cannot want to go on living without them. Indeed many people pine away after they lose their lifelong lover and simply will themselves to die, while others take a quicker step through the dark door from life to death.

It is the most horrible thing I know how to feel to be missing someone I have loved, even if they are in the room next door. For once the reality of our separation from someone we have dearly loved appears we may be bereaved to a point of utter desolation.

In whatever manner we become parted from our loved one, whether they most go to seek their fortunes, or are taken away from us by duty, whether they leave us by choice or are taken by death, we may feel painfully alone and inconsolable in our grief. But we must go on. To do anything less than to hold our chins high and meet the new empty day with courage and confidence in ourselves only demeans the truth and beauty of the love we shared with the child, parent, lover or friend whom we are missing.

Whether our loved one stands on the other side of life's dark doorway into the beyond that we fear as death, or whether they only stand in the next room away from us, a deep part of those whom we love will always love us in return and be concerned for us and want us to go on and to be happy. Our love is an eternal thing; it exists outside of time and space and fills the universe with its joy from end to end in the moment it first blossoms in our hearts. We ephemerally limited beings often fail to see this truth because we live for the moment and as soon as the connection to the presence of our love has waned we begin to feel the painful separation of it and want to go back to that moment or move on quickly to the next moment when we are once more in the arms of one whom we love and can again feel the joy of our love overwhelm us with its sweet comfort.

Love is so far beyond all other joys in life that our entire lives may seem to be eclipsed in the moment we lose someone we dearly love. What would be the worth and joy of love if this were not so? Love is valued beyond measure, it is so infinite in regard to the depths it penetrates us to reach our soul. Love is a liberating force that frees us from fear and pain and worry and loss. Love is an uplifting force that motivates us to strive to be our very best. Love is a binding force that knits us warmly to our family, friends, communities and world. But love does not complete us or make us whole.

We must be complete and whole and we must fully and unconditionally love ourselves to be able to fully accept and experience the love that is shared between two people. Love may complement us so that two people with different strengths are stronger together than they could be individually. Love may balance us so that where we are timid or overly brave our loved one may show us a different way to be that can help us to live happier healthier lives. Love makes so much more of us than we may be aware of in ourselves because it brings the fresh perspective of another person's perceptions of ourselves to us to teach us truths about ourselves that we were missing or could not see or understand.

So when we face the terrible moment when we lose someone we dearly love we seem to lose so much more than just the person we love, we seem to lose parts of ourselves as well. Our grief goes beyond the outward loss of the person we love and encompasses an inner loss of ourselves, the loss of parts of us that blossomed in the gifted sight of our loved one's eyes.

There seems so much to lose when we are parted from someone we dearly love, but all the loss is an illusion. We have been given so much in the sharing of our love with one another that we are forever made richer by the gifts of our love. While we cannot live eternally in the past to remain in the presence and effulgence of the love of someone we are missing, many of us do try to do just that. It is a natural response to hold onto our attachments to someone we love after they are gone, whether they will be gone only minutes or forever.

Holding onto our loved one through these strong attachments forged in the hot passion of our love is a dangerous thing that puts our lives at risk. Attachments to any part of the past may draw us away from living in the present moment and diminish our capacity to experience joy and happiness and love here and now. We may so divorce ourselves from our lives in the present moment that we become despondent or physically ill as a consequence because by holding onto these attachments we are neglecting ourselves and neglecting our lives, failing to care for ourselves adequately or to experience life fully with all the passion we have within us.

Again, this only demeans the gift of the love we have shared with the person whom we miss. Even if deeply estranged from us or miserably angry with us, deep in the hearts of our missing loved ones, where love always remains real and present, our loved ones would never want us to fail to live to the fullest depths of our capacity to experience joy and happiness and love.

So we must let go. Whether we are letting go for only minutes, hours, days, or eternity, we must simply let go of all of our attachments to anyone we love. When we release ourselves from those attachments, whether in a healthy relationship, or in a relationship that has failed, or in circumstances in which we simply cannot remain together in our lives, we are actually enabling ourselves to experience the love we believe we are missing. We can never go back to the past to find our love for it is always in the present. When we release ourselves from our attachments to those we love we enable ourselves to experience the effulgence of our love completely without hesitation or reservation so that our lives once more are sweeter and full of comfort and joy.

So let go to let in the love that is real. Accept today for what it is, an opportunity to find everything you may seek in life and to love and be loved by everyone you meet. And who knows? With your head held up and your eyes wide open someone very special may appear that you may otherwise have missed. So let go to let love return to your heart. Just let go.

I know this may sound difficult to do but it is really not so hard to do. When you feel the love that is an attachment it always leads to a moment in the past where the pain of separation still dwells. Learn to anticipate that pain and to move away from it before it can return to you. You move away from it by engaging the real world around you in whatever way it most urgently needs to be addressed, whether it is chores or exercise or adventuring, when you let go your life moves on and you make your life richer now.




BIO: Fledgling author Greg Gourdian has worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. Much of his written work is channeled, although he will admit that he has no idea who many of the sources for his channeled work may be. He has many strange tales to tell regarding his spiritual journey and he attempts to tell his tales in a humorous or entertaining manner. While not an accredited teacher, Greg has taught classes in psychology, sociology, metaphysics and parapsychology.

Visit Greg's blog at http://tangledintime.blogspot.com/




Wednesday, October 26, 2011

About Love - Loving Unconditionally


You may be familiar with the term unconditional love, but have you learned to practice this powerful concept? Unconditional love is a transformational gift that empowers us and those whom we love to become the best that we can be. It is fundamental to our happiness and wellbeing to learn how to love ourselves and others unconditionally.

Unconditional love is more than a powerful concept it is has the genuine power to heal both ourselves and people around us. When we love someone unconditionally we accept them with all of their flaws and weaknesses and transform those things within them which may be hard for them to accept into things they may more easily accept and deal with. When we accept ourselves for who we are with all our flaws then we empower ourselves to change and improve ourselves. Unconditional love tells another person that those things within themselves which they find fault with are ok, that they can accept those things about themselves and not feel badly about themselves or punish themselves for those things. And of course, when we love ourselves unconditionally we receive the same message and empower ourselves to grow and become better people.

Unfortunately it is part of the nature of our human condition to use our love as a manipulative tool. We may think we are trying to change something about someone we love for the better by placing conditions on our love, but this simply isn't true. By making our love for either ourselves or for others conditional we limit our love and effectively say we do not love ourselves or we do not love others in regard to whatever conditions we have defined.

Withdrawing our love from ourselves and from others can only ever harm both the person who feels less loved and the person who limits their love. A person who feels unloved by us may feel less love for themselves by finding fault with themselves for which they then withhold their own love of themselves doing themselves more harm. Or a person who has been denied love based on conditions may resent the limits of the love they have received and become angry or bitter toward someone who otherwise might love them. So conditional love is very harmful, it is not really love at all because it has the power to do so much harm.

We should never place limits or conditions on our love for anyone else, including ourselves. It is an injustice to love anyone, including ourselves, in any conditional manner. We should always look within ourselves and other people for those places where we feel our love may be constrained by any judgment or criticism and let go of that judgment or criticism and accept ourselves and everyone else for who we are now. When we limit our love and predicate the full effulgence of our love on conditions which must first be met we are being selfish and manipulative. Love can never arise from selfish or manipulative behavior it can only be spoiled by these.

It may seem hard to love other people unconditionally. We may feel someone we otherwise might love unconditionally has a particular character trait which we feel is repulsive and we may want them to change that in order to make themselves worthy of our love. That is such a selfish ego game. Who are we to decide for others how they should be? It may be the case that someone who cares for us may discover for themselves what they may want to change about themselves which may make it easier for us to love them but they must do that of their own accord in their own good time and not be pushed to change or be manipulated to change because this pushing manipulative behavior is selfish and aggressive and may cause unpleasant reactions in which the person we feel we might otherwise love resents us and becomes angry with us.

So whenever we come across any limits we may feel in our loving regard for others or for ourselves we should change ourselves in response to those limits and learn to accept and to love in response to such feelings without limits or conditions. Love is not about putting ourselves ahead of everyone else, but when we love someone in a conditional manner that is exactly what we are doing; we are putting what we want ahead of truly loving someone.

We impoverish our lives by the limits which we place on our love. Worse, we impoverish the lives of others whom we should love unconditionally. We cannot afford this sort of poverty of our spirits. It demeans us, making less of us in our own eyes as well as in the eyes of others. Only by embracing ourselves and everyone we meet with our full effulgent and unconditional love can we empower ourselves to love and to heal ourselves and to love and help heal those around us whoever they may be.

We must let go of all of our terms and conditions and judgments and criticism and accept the world as it is and accept everyone in the world as they are. Acceptance is an incredibly powerful fulcrum which enables our love to be a lever that moves the world. We may move the world with our love in every moment, and the world will love us all back the more in return.

When we empower ourselves to be unconditionally loving to everyone we meet, including ourselves we will have never regret it; instead we will make ourselves and everyone we meet happier, healthier more loving human beings.




BIO: Fledgling author Greg Gourdian has worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. Much of his written work is channeled, although he will admit that he has no idea who many of the sources for his channeled work may be. He has many strange tales to tell regarding his spiritual journey and he attempts to tell his tales in a humorous or entertaining manner. While not an accredited teacher, Greg has taught classes in psychology, sociology, metaphysics and parapsychology.

Visit Greg's blog at http://tangledintime.blogspot.com/




Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Men's Secret In Loving Women - Get Affectionate


It is no secret really, yet most men don't have a clue, much to the chagrin of women. The way men are 'wired' they seem incapable of remembering how to 'woo and win' their wives and partners. And it just so happens the opposite problem, 'giving him sexual fulfilment,' is the thing that kills more marriages for most men -- is it a case of 'never the twain shall meet'? I think there is more hope for a meeting of the minds and hearts than that.

Getting affectionate... most men have trouble maintaining affection for their partners/wives past the first year or two. It's not that they don't want to; they just don't think that way. Men think sexually, whereas most women don't see sex that simplistically -- it's integrated as part of a total package (intrinsically linked with affection) and they need hours or even days of consideration to be "seducible." Being affectionate for the man is the way to a woman's heart and the way to the best sex -- for her -- which means it's the best for him too.

Here are some considerations toward becoming and staying more affectionate:

1. Hugs: Hugs are cheap and easy to give! They are definitely the number one item on the affection menu. Hug genuinely and lovingly and you're halfway there. Most women require a dozen hugs a day, and long "body" hugs (without the expectation of sex) are definite winners. A dozen hugs might seem an exaggeration -- try it out; you might be surprised by the results.

2. Flowers: This is the traditional number one but can be expensive. Try and get colours and arrangements that show you're thinking of her. What's her favourite flower? If you don't know why not ask? -- But also observe.

3. Manners matter: Politeness is still important no matter how long you've been together. This means if you fart say, "Excuse me," and be considerate how you do it. It means saying your pleases and thank you's. Don't be invited to use your manners -- let it come from you.

4. Communicate: Talk with your spouse. Talk about her day. Talk about your day. Talk about things that interest her. Talk about things that draw you both together as a couple. Talk about your problems but do so in a gentle and caring way. Talk about her problems from the viewpoint of wanting to provide her support, not to "guide" her... enter listening...

5. Listen: Most people find it hard to actively listen, and this certainly applies to men, generally. Men, get disciplined to listen with care to your partner and learn to bite your tongue when you're tempted to interrupt her. Just listen. (Active listening allows you to talk only to ask clarifying questions that help you understand and demonstrate empathy.)

6. Cook: Preparing a nice sumptuous meal (and cleaning up!!) can win your way into your wife's heart very easily. "Sex begins in the kitchen!" is the catch-cry and there's good reason, as mentioned in one of the opening paragraphs.

7. Seek feedback: Speak to your partner about it. Ask her honestly to rate your affection and seek feedback on where you can improve. Again, listen. Listen to more than her words; listen also for what she's not saying.

8. Get physical: As well as hugs most women love being touched but not in the areas of the body (or the ways) most men think. It's usually the innocuous areas like the neck, upper and lower back, feet and hands that get most women going -- again, not in the way most men think. Spending time gently caressing a woman in these ways will demonstrate genuine love for her - part of the 'wooing and winning' process. Try doing this whilst watching a movie, attending a school concert, or even in church! (Check she's okay with it in public places and in front of the kids.)

It can't be understated too much that women want a genuine man -- someone who's not a phony! If you're going to be affectionate do it for the right reasons; that is to love her as she deserves to be loved -- not for sex (though you might see more/better "action" when she perceives you caring genuinely). Women can pick impure motives miles off.

It's said that "the earth trembles under three things, under four it cannot bear up: a servant who becomes king, a fool who is full of food, an unloved woman who is married, and a maidservant who displaces her mistress." It doesn't make sense that a married woman is not loved.

Find out what works for your spouse and then simply do it.

Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Acknowledgement for key input to this article, and my thanks for teaching me how to be more affectionate, go to my wife, Sarah.

This article was inspired by Willard F. Harley's His Needs, Her Needs (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House Company, 1986, 2003), pp. 30-41.




Steve Wickham is a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve's key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us.