Sacred Love - the Power of the Heart is the Human Spirit - this is Will Power - Love Power

Will power is love; in spiritual terms, love is will power. If one says, "God is love", it means in reality "God is Will". The love of God, the Will of God, causes the creation, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven". Universal laws pervade our earth and our heaven. When a person says, "I love to do it", it means, "I will to do it", which is a stronger expression and means, "I fully love to do it with all my heart and soul".

Never again clutter your days or nights with so much "busi-ness" and unimportant things that you have no time to "be in love" and "live with love". This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived, with money as the only reward, is no cause for celebration. In its purified state, the human heart is the hologram of the seen and unseen worlds; it is the part that reflects the whole. The heart is the point at which the individual human being is closest to the Divine. The heart is the centre of our motivation and our knowing, possessing a depth and strength of will that the personality lacks. When we say that the heart has an integrative power, we are not talking in abstract, metaphorical, or merely intellectual terms. The realisation and purification of the heart both opens a doorway to the infinite, and also results in a restructuring of neural pathways, a refinement and reorganisation of our entire nervous system, which allows the fullest expression of our human possibilities. We can so easily fall into the world of life to work rather than work to live. Time can rush by, we are so busy getting ready to enjoy life, that we are too tired to take advantage of it. To manage our life, for the benefit of love, we must master the power of will. This, in another language, means discipline.

No more busy work. No more hiding from love. Leave time, leave space to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!

Love in action. The heart of Love

Discipline is the turning point. The pain of regret always outweighs the pain of discipline. Therefore, as we shift from the ego focus of pleasure, short term pleasure, toward purpose, dreams, and longer term results, the ego loses control and becomes the lion, and you to tamer, The vast majority of spiritual practices like yoga, meditation, tai chi and more, hold this as the most critical ingredient of the transformation between ego life and love life. Discipline.

Will is a different kind of power. Will acknowledges that there are temptations, that there are always old patterns, but that all the righteousness, devotion and fanatic adherence to dogma will never remove the source of temptation. An alcoholic is still an alcoholic while they are in a phobia about alcohol. With will power, there is a different approach; there is simply something more important to do.

Will does not rely on righteousness or goods that are separated from bad. Like the healing fanatic, who will tell you for hours about the virtues of organic food. No, that is the ego in blind fanaticism building dogma, separation. There are two sides to everything, good and bad, including organic food. But will is different. Will asks, "What are my long term goals, and what choices are best for me to make to achieve them?" Like, "I want to travel the world helping children". I would ask "When?", and you might say, "Until the day I die", and I might say "When?", and you might add, "Ok, when I am 90". So now we got past a loose fantasy, with no detail, to a little more detail. Then we go for lunch and you are sitting opposite me, and the menu comes, "What are you having for lunch?" You think, and say, "Oh there are so many delicious choices", and I would reply, "Not if you are serious about living until you are 90 and still traveling around the world helping children." Then you might choose the organic salad, because it might help you live your dream. That choice is made with "will power".

Will power comes from the heart.

A part of the body just beneath the breast has been labeled as the heart. As humans cannot grasp the idea of a heart outside the body, there is a part in this body of flesh dedicated to housing the idea of the heart. This area is most sensitive to feeling and has been called broken at times, although no physical break actually occurs.

Thought, memory, will and reason, combined with the ego, make up the heart. The surface of our ego is mind, while the depth of it is heart. The heart is a clear descriptor of our identity. It is through the heart that we feel ourselves, or know ourselves, as the ego prefers. Once a person understands the nature, the character, and the mystery of heart, they understand the language of their ego. So a real understanding of the ego, and turning it to work for you, instead of for itself, comes from the heart.

Will power is what makes the difference between our ability to feel an emotion (which is honesty), and act on an emotion (which is foolishness). It is human nature to have all kinds of emotional reactions to the world around us; these are simultaneously the human illusion, and precisely the traits that make us human. The experiencing of emotions over the whole spectrum of existence is what makes us whole, just as a musical piece is composed using the whole set of piano keys, not just one. The joy of life is experiencing emotion, but the suffering of life is to act, or legitimise them.

Action and reaction based on emotion are at the surface of life. Will is the junction between this, and the ability to live deep below this surface, in love. When we act on emotion, our will power (God power) is overridden, and we become like a leaf in the storm, driven by the comings and goings of others. There is no certainty in a life driven by reactions to emotion. While it provides the flavor and spice of life, it is an appalling guidance system for your decisions and direction. Will is, therefore, the gentle power that can honor the experience of emotion, but prohibits action based on it.

Ambition can be based on emotional escapism and egotistic attachment, or the human spirit and inspired calling. If we want love, then ambition based on emotional escapism is a complete contradiction to our aims. Emotional drive is sporadic, undisciplined, it vales "How I feel now" more importantly than, "How I am going to feel if I don't live my dreams?" It is not the love-centred way of life. It will not magnetise the health and sacred love we aspire to give.

Valuable Values:

The value of time

The success of perseverance

The pleasure of working

The dignity of simplicity

The worth of character

The power of kindness

The influence of example

The obligation of duty

The wisdom of economy

The virtue of patience

The improvement of talent

The joy of originality

If you say you are going to do something in your life, and you don't do it, you beat yourself up. Make commitments of discipline in your relationship. If you break them, don't lie. Admit it. No one can beat you up more than you. But then work on more discipline, more will, more love power, by finding a better reason to follow your commitment. Being committed to something is all about having a good enough reason. If you love yourself enough, then emotional blackmail is not a good enough reason to be committed. If someone says, "I won't like you if you don't do that" then only if you already hate yourself is that a motive. But at this level of will, there has to be a dream, a dream you'd love so much that the cost of emotion is too high, that emotion is not worth the worry.

People get this when they lose something. I had a friend who had a heart attack. They were so not disciplined; they had absolutely no will power. Then, after that catastrophe, they became a health fanatic. A year later they were emotional again and eating junk. They were disciplined out of fear. This is not sustainable. In your relationship, find a dream that is big enough, that you would love to live enough, and then work out what the cost is in terms of lifestyle. If you aren't willing to pay the price, get out of the way so someone else can live it. But don't expect your relationship to last if you can't find a dream worth living for.

After two or three shattered dreams you might find it hard to come up with real commitments for long-term dreams. Simply start with little ones and work your way up. There is a process in the last chapters of this book on dream matching.

The will of the human heart is an unbridled experience of doing something that you love, rather than something that loves you. Then you bring this choice making awareness into all facets of your life, discernment, and without compromise. Will is the heart choosing long-term benefit over short-term emotional expression.

Sacred relationship is not found in emotional drama, but in the wisdom of choices made, the sacrifices made in recognition of dreams and Love. If you do not have the will to choose wisely, then you'll choose low priority activities to fill your mind. Because these are self sabotaging (they do not fulfill your dreams), then your lover will not be able to wait for you to grow up in love, they will probably leave you. If you are treating yourself as unworthy of love, unworthy of higher purpose, unworthy of long-term investment, then your lover will not treat you any differently. Remember that nobody does to you more than you do to yourself. Will is love, will power is self love.

Self love is found in the doing of life, not in the thinking of it. Self love is action, action of choices. Your self worth grows when you do things worthy of your own respect. Emotional drama and working on low priorities, working on other people's priorities, living vicariously through children, is all self-deception. Nature will not have it. Nature will bring disaster, catastrophe and humbling circumstances to anyone who does not work on the higher priorities that manifest their dreams. If you do not have a dream, there is only ego to love.

A person who can say, "I love doing this" is far more rewarded on the cosmic level than the ego that would profess, "I love this, because these are the things I get for doing it". Achievements last for moments, but life is a journey. There is no solace for the wealthy person who, surrounded with material items and victories, cannot smile in the face of a days work, or at the idea of walking to the garden for a few moments of reflection. It is in the eyes of loved ones where we find God, rather than the buildings we create to house them. It is in the doing of things of high priority to our dreams that the wealth exists, not in the gratitude of those we help.

Will is not power, although it is all the power that exists. How does creation function in the universe? The world? The answer is, by will. The laws of the universe hold all the chaos into a magnificent order. It is the power of will, Gods will, that all of the universe conforms to a discipline of just five simple laws. Emotion is the defiance of those laws. Therefore, what we call willpower in us, is more accurately, God power; and emotion is hell power. Will power is a combination of physical and mental strength. Our hands, with all their perfect mechanics, cannot hold a glass of water if there is no willpower to support it. If will power fails us, a seemingly healthy person will not be able to even stand. Therefore, fish do not swim with their body; they swim with their will power. And when man has the will to swim, he swims like fish.

Will power has enabled humankind to complete tremendous things. Will brings us to success, yet when will fails, however intelligent the person, they too fail. Therefore, it is not the human power solely that moves us, it is a divine power found in the human body that makes unbelievable feats possible. The work of the mind is still greater, for no one can hold a thought in their mind for a moment if there is not the strength of will to hold it. If a person cannot concentrate, cannot keep their thoughts still for a moment, it means that will power fails them, as it is will which holds a thought.

Rumi, "Birth, water, fire, air seemed to us as things, as objects, but before God they are living beings; they stand as his obedient servant's and obey divine Will".

We received a part of that divine will as our own divine heritage, and it is our consciousness of that will which makes it greater. If we are not conscious of it, it becomes smaller. An optimistic attitude towards life develops the power of will, while the pessimistic attitude reduces it and robs it of its great power. Thus, it is only ourselves that hinders our progress in life. There is no one in the world that can be a worse enemy to us than ourselves, for at every failure we see ourselves standing in our own light.

When the mind is pushed to hold one thought for a while, it becomes restless, because it is not accustomed to discipline. The mind by itself has no hesitation to hold a thought of disappointment, blame, anger, pain grief, sorrow, or of failure; it will hold it so tightly that you cannot take one of those righteous thoughts from its grip. But when the mind is requested to hold a particular affirmative thought, often it will not hold it, responding instead by saying, "I am free and I will not be controlled". This is the ego fighting against the heart of will, the ego fighting for emotional freedom, and cursing the divinity of sacred love, dreams and joy.

You must teach your mind discipline by concentration, by the power of will, then the mind becomes tied in concentration to the focus of your work. A parent must be strong with a child because they have no discipline, and the parent must be that higher wisdom until the child becomes wise. A disciplined mind becomes your servant rather than your master. The thoughts of the heart, and the act of holding the thought in the heart, are both of great importance for the fulfillment of an individual's life's, and most importantly, their relationships.

Often a person will say, "I try my best but I cannot get my mind to concentrate, I cannot make my mind still". It is true that they cannot concentrate, but it is not true that they try their best. Once the mind has become your servant, what more can you wish? Then your world is your own, you are the king or queen of your kingdom. Although some people will argue, "Why not let the mind be free, as we are free?" But the easy answer to this is to observe the life of the person without discipline, filled with emotional drama, maybe even a filled bank balance. They have lost the essence, they are nothing but living shells of emotion.

Self-discipline is that which makes the master of the self, however difficult and tyrannical it may seem in the beginning. Self mastery is a combination of discipline and applied will. It is not in vain that the great sages live in caves with devotion and great purpose. It is not something to imitate, but it is something to understand. Such asceticism is self-discipline; it is the development of will power. This is the turning point for a sacred relationship. To invest yourself in love is to have the will to sustain it.

There are those who would sit for the whole of their lives under the coconut tree and wait for the coconuts to drop. There are those who would chop the tree, so they own the tree. There are those who would learn to climb and bring what they need to their lives. Too many of us enter a relationship and then wait to see what happens. We buy the furniture and make the babies. There is no brain required in either of those actions, and we can have pleasured sex with 90% of our brain removed. Love is will, effort, and without affirmative effort, you wait for the coconut, and survive on nothing between.

You lack nothing if you have will

The best way to cultivate will power is by first systematically putting the body through discipline. It must sit in the posture that is prescribed to it; it must stand in a place where it is asked to stand. The body must not become restless, or fatigued, by what is asked of it. You'll see this in yoga. The body must answer to the demands of the person to whom it belongs. The moment we begin to discipline the body, we begin to see how disobedient the body has always been. This body is meant to become the tool with which you experience life, not the reason for it. The body can be trained with physical exercises initiated by the mind.

The discipline of the mind is done by concentration. It can only take place after the body has become disciplined. When you wish the mind to think about one particular thought while it is thinking another thought, then the mind becomes very restless. It does not want to stand in one spot, because it has always been moving about without discipline. Very often, people tell me that during the day their most difficult time is the moment that they want to concentrate. At this time the mind will start to jump. This is because the mind is an entity. The mind and body need to be your servants, not the other way around. In order for you to manifest your dreams, your mind and body must become your servants in everyday life to fulfill your body with food and pleasure, and your mind with emotion and righteousness. They must act as you wish them to, in order for you to gain real comfort, happiness and an awareness of love.

There is a difference between concentration and silence. Silence is relaxing mind and body. It is repose and healing. Concentration is holding a certain thought before you. Further, concentration is the beginning of meditation, and meditation is the end of concentration

This is illustrated in the following two examples. What time do you rise in the morning? Anytime? Or in time to get you to work? The vast majority of people seek a flexible wake up time, depending on how they feel or what they did last night. This freedom, self- given, has a catastrophic impact on an individual's health, worth, and vitality. If wake up time is fixed, then life spins around it. Time becomes a fixture, a marker in the day. Then, emotion is not the master.

Money is another example. People on the whole spend by impulse - emotional spending, retail therapy. These are rarely people who have earned the money in their own right, nor are they often the wealthy people. If you can't control your emotion, you can't control your spending. A quest for instantaneous emotional gratification leads to emotional spending.

Freedom does not come, as many people hope, from freedom to act on impulse or emotion, nor does it come from stoic rigidity. Emotions must be felt for authentic living, and will power is the ability to feel, and not act. We act for love, we act to create dreams, we feel for honesty.

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Sacred Love: Make Every Day a Honeymood that Will Last Forever - Love is a Lifestyle... Don't Wait!

Romance your beloved. Live this day as if it will be your last together. Remember tomorrow never comes. Forget yesterday's challenges. Be innocent, get off the high horse. Ignore all your worries about tomorrow. This is it. Your own Jihad. Give it all you have. Make it the best day of your year. Forget Valentine's Day, every day is Valentine's day. The saddest words you can ever hear are, "I wish I had my time over again ... I'd do it different", regret. The stupidest people have "do it tomorrow" on their calendar. Act like your beloved is the most precious diamond, and if you don't act now, they'll melt. Run with it! Today! Now. Don't be a mourner get out of the corner.

Make your life a honeymoon. You already know the magnificence of that feeling and it still lives within you. Your love, your spirit, can come to life anytime you choose it, so choose it often. Never let a bad experience dampen your spirit. Those situations are as precious as the good ones. Smile at the challenges. Down is not bad. You can always look around for a beautiful flower, the love of a friend, the most precious of rainbows. Don't wait for love to come to you, go out and grab it with all your heart. Choose love. Choose a honeymood lifestyle. Make everyday, a day a falling in love day. Fall in love with friends, relatives, trees, birds, an apple. Let love for life sparkle in your eyes, shiver in your spine. Live with Spirit everyday, - naturally.

I am thinking of you, wondering

about you

feeling love for you

fantasising about you

But never doubting

that beautiful feelings

Toward a beautiful soul

can be wrong.

To love someone

as I love you now

and hold deep trust for that love.

Is the greatest and most precious truth

A man could have.

If I needed something

that might be wrong.

If I wanted something

that might be corrupted

But to love?

That is why I even breathe

and today

I breathe you into my heart

Again, and again, and again

Without reason

I simply breathe love for you.

Eternally.

It is in the eyes of loved ones where we find God, rather than the buildings we create to house it. It is in the doing of things that the wealth exists. A person who can say, "I love doing this" is far more rewarded on the cosmic level than the person who would profess that, "I've got to do this". Achievements last for moments, but love is a journey. There is no solace for the wealthy person who, surrounded with material items and victories, cannot feel love.

ROMANTIC LIFESTYLES

Your honesty touches my heart.

It is one of the qualities I value in my relationship with you,

honesty without judgment

and this is living in truth with ourselves and one another.

I love the part of you that is in the world

and wishes to meet me in every way.

This makes my blood race and my flesh tingle.

I know who you are,

in truth you are everything.

Your spirit has opened my heart

Thank you

Romance is appreciation. What you appreciate grows. Sustainable romance is an honoring, an attitude of admiration. Romance is gratitude. The most romantic person is one who appreciates their partner most. To be romantic you don't have to buy gifts all the time, most of it comes from your attitude. Romance means you are open, on another plane altogether, and therefore beyond the need for provocation.

Below is a letter written by Anais Nin, someone who truly understood the erotic art of romance. This letter was written to a client who paid her and her partner to write erotic stories for him after receiving a note from him asking her to "cut the poetry and concentrate on the sex" in their stories. In the letter, Nin masterfully defends the essential beauty of romance in the art of love, and emotional desire, the essence of eroticism. The sponsor operated in the first level - sex is sex, while Nin is operating in the third level.

I quote

Dear Collector:

We hate you. Sex loses all its power and magic when it becomes

explicit, mechanical overdone, when it becomes a mechanistic

obsession.

It becomes a bore. You have taught us more than anyone I know

how wrong it is not to mix it with emotion, hunger, desire, lust

whims caprices, personal ties, deeper relationships that change its

color, flavor, rhythms, intensities.

You do no know what you are missing by your microscopic

examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are

the fuel that ignites it. Intellectual imaginative, romantic,

emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising texture, its

subtle transformation, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking

your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining

it's blood.

If you nourished your sexual life with all the excitements and

adventures which love injects into sensuality, you would be the most

potent man in the world. The source of sexual power is curiosity,

passion. You are watching its little flame die of asphyxiation. Sex

does not thrive on monotony. Without feeling, intervention, mood,

there are no surprises in bed. Sex must be mixed with tears,

laughter, words promises, scenes, jealousy, envy, all of the spices

of fear, foreign travel new faces, novels, stories, dreams,

fantasies, music, dancing, opium, wine.

How much do you lose by this periscope at the tip of your sex,

when you could enjoy a harem of discrete and never repeated wonders?

No two hairs alike, but you will not let us waste words on

description of hair; no two odors, but if we expand on this you cry:

Cut the poetry! No two skins with the same texture, and never the

same light, temperature, shadows, never the same gestures, for a

lover, when he is aroused by true love, can the gamut of centuries of

love lore, What a range, what changes of age, what variations of

maturity and innocence. Perversity and art.

We have sat around for hours and wondered how you look. If you

have closed your senses around silk, light, color, odor, character,

temperament, you must by now be completely shriveled up. There are so

many minor senses, all running like tributaries, into the mainstream

of sex, nourishing it. Only the united beat of sex and heart together

can create ecstasy.

Many people wait for a special occasion to be romantic because it involves serious time and money. This really misses the point because romance is the daily ritual, in everything that takes place, to reflect your love, an attitude of gratitude. If the ego is engaged in a relationship, there will be bright eyes and smile, but if there is no romance it's like having an enemy against you. Romance is an attitude, a prioritisation, living walking, talking proof that when you say, "I love you" there is emotion behind it.

When you appreciate your partner, they feel it. In fact, the word appreciation means to make bigger or expand, and romance is exactly that, making someone feel special, better, bigger than they felt before you walked into the room.

Don't try to change what people are. Rather develop what they have. According to Kahli Gibran "Our worst fault is our preoccupation with the fault of others". If you want to get the best out of someone, you must look for the best that is in them. People can only use their strengths to excel, not their limitations.

Try to make romance a way of life. Try and remember what you did to seduce your lover's ego before they committed to you, and make that the benchmark for how you treat them now. Making life a seduction is fun, a conscious and beautiful discipline to maintain with your lover. The value of romance, appreciating the small things, showing gratitude cannot be under stated. This is where the ego engages in a healthy way and relaxes enough to allow you to rise to higher levels of communication with your partner.

Have you ever noticed that after you've shown a little love to someone, a heat wave of contentment pervades your entire being? Have you realised that the most profound moments of contentment are those that come in the moments when you give appreciation, unconditionally?

My love for you

needs nothing

I am in my spirit

I am in no hurry

I am thankful for what I have

I am thankful to have touched your heart

I am thankful for your eyes

I am thankful for your past

and mine

You have fulfilled a dream

just by being

Thank you

When you appreciate people, when you simply smile at a stranger in the street, do you recognise that breeze of peace that flows over you? When you help someone up who has stumbled, do you feel that contentment pervading your heart? When you present a flower to someone who is sick, or who is in need, do you feel a sense of warmth well up inside of you? Giving appreciation, not because it was your duty or obligation, or because that man is your father (or a complete stranger), is a gift, and this feeling of warmth is a great reward. Giving without condition or reason, this is true love, an attitude of your nature, the individuality of you, and it is not limited to events, it is a way of life.

Today, celebrate your love for your lover. Treat them more importantly than yourself. Have the courage to surprise them, gift them, tantalise them, make love for them so they feel like they went to heaven, honor them, surrender to them, value them and treasure them. Do it without fear of failure, or fear of rejection, or fear of being hurt. Do it today like there is no tomorrow, because in love, there is no tomorrow.

Loving Gifts

Small gifts, all they need to do is put a smile in your lover's heart. When we are mindful of the harmony of our thinking, and therefore our gifts, we can then watch our love become a thousand times greater in effect and value. A gift given with anger and resentment will breed that downward force wherever it travels. A gift given with the deepest love is unconditional, so what our partner does with it, is not important, it is the energy we sent or gave that is the power of it.

All of life is a miracle. The order of nature, the revolution of a hundred million words around a million of suns, the activity of light, the life of animals, all are grand and perpetual miracles.

Voltaire

Love Letters

To love all of who you are

Is to love all of me

Never before have I been in this place

I am bathing in the fullness of love

I touch the purest part of me

This energy swims thru me, all around me, connects me to you

so that I may see all of you with Love

And I do

I love you

Leave notes, write emails, SMS like there is no tomorrow. When we write a love letter or email the truth is conveyed between the lines. Words written with loving thoughts behind them will have a far greater effect than a thousand pages of well-written, grammatically correct, literature. Have you ever "heard" a letter speaking? It is not simply what is written on the paper. You can decipher the mood the sender was in, their happiness or resentment, their joy and their sorrow. A letter carries the vibration of thought and feeling, as do all forms of communication.

Dreams of Love

I feel you deep inside my body,

my heart, my spirit.

I am overwhelmed with thoughts of you.

I need to sit silently tonight and allow all of this to enter the stillest within me.

I will rest in this place.

When I lay myself down to sleep, to dream I will dream of ...............you.

Your last thoughts before you sleep manifest in your reality. Whatever occupies the subconscious mind as you enter sleep will be manifest in the earth plane in the day. An intense focus of thought in the last waking moments becomes a prayer. Such thinking is always fruitful. All genuine prayer must be born in the subconscious, in the heart with feeling and depth. Just as you are falling asleep, you list all you have to be thankful for. This is the simple, natural key to romance. Remember not to go to sleep in the midst of an argument, resolve it always before sleep. The cost of an argument that extends into the night can multiply the problems ten fold.

The last words before you fall asleep each night are best to be "thank you".

Our work, sport, friendships and health affect our love.

Being tired, stressed and worried;

Foolishness cannot be compensated

The commitment to a loving relationship.

Love is a lifestyle.

Protecting our relationship is a lifestyle choice,

Impacted by others,

Impacted by work

Impacted by choices

Imbalance

taking risks with truth.

These are the choices.

Your choices.

The result is your relationship

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Sacred Love - Be the Love You Dream

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they needed your approval. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. There is no greater existence than the life that gives more than it takes.

If you are in love it will show. In your eyes, your face, the way you walk, the way you sit, everything will show it, because you are not the same person. You have been touched. The desiring mind is not there. And here is a big problem.

If you are only happy when you find a lover to fall in love with, your life and relationship will be a mess. Before you fell in love there was not the same experience, so basically you were walking around incomplete without a lover. It's like that song "You're nobody till somebody loves you", in reality, that headspace causes all our suffering .

It should read, "You're somebody, whether anybody loves you". If you are one person before you fall in love, and then you are somebody else after you fall in love, there is dependency on this great experience, and that is the beginning of relationship problems. This is the first or second level of love, where there is significant confusion between love, need, rescue and an anti-depressant.

There are four substitutes for love. They are sex, food, religion and material greed. Many people can't discern the difference between love and substitutes. They feel in love because of great sex, or because their lover has lots of wealth. This is because the same chemicals that are produced in the body when love is there, are produced when we experience hope. So chemically, love hormones are secreted when we experience other forms of happiness, such as infatuation, but hope is also a powerful aphrodisiac.

This is the motive that attracts people together in the first, second and third levels of love. Their hormones are racing; they can't tell if it is love, infatuation or hope. The chemistry of their body changes and they feel every experience of "In LOVE". But they are not in love. They are in solution. Solution to a problem is a substitute for love. This substitution is unsustainable. The attachment to their lover is highly emotional, highly conditional, it's the relationship made in hell, because there is a heightened hope that love is there, but it is not really love, and it fails. They were just not ready to be in love, because they were not in love before they met their lover.

To really be in love, we must learn to be in love without a partner, as well as with a partner. We must become "in love" without someone to love. It is a loving attitude to life, to trees and children and sunsets alone; in love with a movie, and in love with our parents. To be ready to fall in love, we must be in love with our past and our future.

When you are really in love with something in your life, you are ambivalent to it. In other words you are not attracted to it, or repelled by it. You are not afraid of it or avoiding it. That person or circumstance is a part of you. They are you. You are they, they are the mirror and you can see yourself there. In this love, there is thankfulness. You can thank someone, you are no longer trying to do the opposite to them; you are them. You can be in love with anyone if you choose. Of course, that is not to say you need a relationship with them. Love is a way of being in the world without reaction to it.

There are many single people who learn to love everyone in order to keep themselves at peace, safe. And this is healthy, but contentment is not a place to stay, it is only a place that you might become happy without a lover. That is fine if you want your ego to be strong and powerful in the world. Just stay single so there is no person who can confront your "giant within" - but this is not love. That state of contentment is a war on love. This is not what I am suggesting. Because if the ego is in control, then your contentment is something you'll try to protect in your relationship, there will be no experience of a life with love, only sexual moments of it. If your ego wants contentment, it is asking to flatten the spirit of your lover, it will search the world for someone who is "trustworthy", but what it is really asking for is "non-disturbance", authority. Eventually, that relationship will deteriorate, then you will be controlling, possessive, jealous, fearful, unable to trust, judgmental, self righteous, blaming. And frankly, what level of celebration of love is that going to promote? You will lose that chemistry of falling in love and gain the acidity of resentment.

This tension will usually kill love before it begins. Remember, nobody can do to you more than you do to yourself so, if you are not sitting on a beach, painting a picture, or doing your work at the office with love; if you are unhappy before you meet someone, or addicted to the substitutes, then your love will have all the chemical experiences you want, but none of the sustainable spiritual experiences you need. If you are not in love with life before you meet your lover, then it's a bit weird to expect that you will be able to fix all your emotional problems by falling in love. You'll only find someone to relieve the pain. And nothing is going to do that for long.

Many people I have worked with blame their relationship for everything. But when you look inside their heart, those issues, that unhappiness, has been there forever. They may have channeled it to their parents, ex-partner, children or brothers and sisters, even the business can get the blame, but when they come into relationship, their partner gets the blame and everything else is let off the hook, including themselves.

In nature, the forest is the same forest whether you are in it or not.

Romance is not built out of a fearful dependency that says, "Without you, my life is not worth living". That expression comes from someone who is severely depressed and you have become their anti-depressant. You are not an anti-depressant, you are a lover of life, and a lover of lovers. So, the question is, are you in love, before you fall in love with someone?

In nature, there is nothing missing, there is always love in one form or another

When I was first married, I thought there was only one person I could be in love with. So, that became my wife. There were people that I loved, but there was only my wife to be in love with. I didn't really think about love as something I could do at work, or at sport. I said, "Love is for my wife, and everything else is something else". It's like putting on a straight jacket. It's inhuman because anything we do in life without love is competitive and dry. So in my business, I was not interested in loving what I was doing, I was dry and tough, which made my leadership very aggressive. When my divorce came, I realised that I had been inhuman to myself. That I needed to actually be in love with my world, and with what I did, in order to be in love with a partner. Then, my relationships were not little love moments in an otherwise hard working life, my relationships were a magnificent extension of what I already had.

To be in love we cannot become exclusive. We cannot pretend to be loving and open hearted to one person, and judgmental and protective toward another. Love is not like a suit we wear that can be put on and taken off. Love is a way of living, an attitude from which we choose a relationship, and there we become exclusive in our actions. To love is not exclusive, that cannot be. But from that love, we can choose to be in relationship, an intimate, romantic and beautiful relationship, and then we prioritise that person, and choose to open to them. So we focus significant energy in this book on becoming that which you want others to be, to make your life an act of love.

Love is a state of being. It cannot depend on what you are doing physically, or with whom you are doing it. But lovers want the beloved to love only them, no one else. They don't know that unless you can love all, you cannot love anyone. The wife might say the husband can love only her, and not be loving toward anybody else; the stream of his love should flow only toward her. But she does not realise that such love is false, and that she has caused it to be false. How can a lover who is not full of love for everybody be loving to his partner?

A magnificent key to creating a harmonious, lasting and sacred relationship is to understand that a loving person treats both those they like, and those they dislike, with love. This is the spiritual aspect of it all. A person with love offers a loving attitude even to lifeless objects. This is the beginning, learning to love pets and objects, good friends and kind acts. But the true test comes when we are asked to love those who hurt us, those who are unkind to us, and most importantly, in our relationship, our lover who brings truth home to us, by challenging us.

This sacred relationship you dream of, is an attitude. You must be mindful that your attitude in every moment of your life causes the quality of your life. Your emotions are not automatic; you are not a leaf blown around the park wherever the wind takes you. You are the tree, your roots go deep, your soul is guiding you to love. There is no authenticity in following your emotions of hurt or pleasure. Only animals cannot choose how they respond to circumstance. Although your animal instinct is important to your feeling of emotion, you must choose one thousand times a day to be inspired by love and work through your judgments. If you gravitate to your emotional nature (Ego), and be swept along in the rush of it all, your love life will always deteriorate to drama.

Do you think that we can hate one person and love another? No, that is impossible. A loving human being is a loving human being; it has nothing to do with some individual. Even sitting alone such a person is loving, even when no one is watching, they are loving. To be loving is this persons nature, it has nothing to do with relationship. A loving person is loving no matter with whom or where they are.

Love Bites

Every day we walk, talk, smile, laugh and work. In this, there is an opportunity to open ourselves to Love people. The bus driver, the checkout person, the taxi driver, the CEO. We can just grab a moment and feel love without acting, I call them love bites Tiny moments in time, where you actually fall in love and let it pass. It is not invasive, like asking for phone numbers or even trying to get an acknowledgement. These spoil the beauty of it. Simply by opening your mind to the possibility that, if you are mindful you can fall in love, over and over and over, with anyone, anywhere, anytime. I once experienced a love bite with 500 people in one day. I doubt any of them knew it. Because a love bite stops right there, in the awareness. You fall in love, feel the love bite, and keep it a secret. The action stops there. Then you simply buy the milk and go home. You just fall in love, feel the love bite, and leave it. A love bite experience means no action, and then you will have many. This is a culture of love. Where you learn to see beauty as often as possible, to celebrate that diversity of beauty by taking the nano-second to honor and witness it.

A man walked into the room, flung the door open, angrily undid his shoelaces because they were too tight, tossed them in the corner, then closed the door with a thud. If there is anger inside, a person will treat their shoes and possessions as if they were his worst enemy. The man bowed before the monk, and offered his respects.

The monk said, "I cannot respond to your greeting until you apologise to the door and your shoes."

The man protested, "They are not alive, I will not apologise, why should I?"

The Monk replied, "You took your anger out on those shoes, and the door, you acknowledged their personality when you were angry with them. You threw the shoes as if they were guilty of something. You have acknowledged their personality in your actions, so you must acknowledge their personality in your apology to them."

The man, "Sorry to you shoes, I was angry at you, sorry door I took out my frustration on you."

The man turned to the Monk and spoke, "I feel so at peace with myself, this has made me aware that I have been treating everything with my anger, people and things, I have been stirring my anger."

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Sacred Love - People Become As You Treat Them

People become as you treat them.

It appears that the path I'm on progresses in circles

that create an ever deepening spiral of growth:

images dissolve and we learn new ways of being,

then I we go deeper and see the errors in the ways

we now follow, and we dissolve those blockages.

Facing a particular issue, we work something through

only to circle around at a later time and face the same issue

at a deeper or more subtle level of its manifestation

in our lives.

We work until we eventually dissolve the image

at its nuclear point in our soul.

Gradually we learn to live life without too many false expectations.

In the unfolding of each real moment we are fulfilled.

As we learn to approach life with gratitude

for what has been given to us,

with a readiness to open to truth and to love

in a spirit of trust, life will give us back

many generous surprises.

And we become one with the circle of life,

receiving the in-breath

and giving back the out-breath

that animates us all.

People become as you treat them. For instance, if a person is called "foolish" time and time again, they will, eventually, become foolish. If we call a simple person wise, in time they will become wiser. If we treat a person with romance, then they become romantic. A child who grows up hearing judgment and being told they are incapable, comes to believe that as truth. On the other hand, a child who makes mistakes and is encouraged to keep trying, affirmed for small victories, learns to take risks and set high goals. A partner who always hears complaints will eventually lose their libido. The words we speak become the truth we live, we must be very, very mindful.

Higher thinking minds, with higher thoughts, will always attract minds with higher thoughts. An ordinary mind is attracted toward ordinary thoughts. For instance, a person who has a habit of criticising people will most often open their ears to the criticism of others, because this is the subject which interests them. Indeed, their level of comfort is found there. A person entrenched in negative thinking cannot resist the temptation of hearing negativity of another person, because this is most near to their heart. What is most profound is that they also think like this toward themselves. There is no escaping that what we do unto others, we always do unto ourselves. Therefore, if we are complimentary and compassionate to others, we breed this toward ourselves.

Chapter 26 Create with love

When you are inspired by some greater purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.

Pattanjali

To manifest anything without love is totally possible. But never enjoyable. To manifest a child on this earth, without love is not enjoyable, it is a task. To manifest a business without love, then it becomes a job, not a passion of love. To do anything without love as your centre, is to manifest with force and emotion, there can be no rest in this heart.

So, love is the centre, and its purpose is to expand. Love expands by the act of doing things, by creating homes, building families, expanding businesses, imagining new songs. Manifest is the result of love. All of life is about creating and when we create with love, we are living on purpose.

We may begin to manifest a relationship with love, but the challenges can overcome the love. We might begin with love, but emotions and judgments creep in. Then, we are motivated to manifest things in our relationship instead of love. So, people start making babies, growing children, building homes, collecting friends, because they've "got to" make this relationship work. They substitute material things for the love that was meant to be behind their life. Then, there is manifestation without love. The love was there, but the problems and challenges have overcome the love.

The four substitutes for real love in a relationship with your sacred lover are; Spirituality - and the search for a God outside of our relationship. Food and substance - which fills the vacuum that is meant for love. Sexuality - the physical, emotional and sexual escape from real intimacy. Greed - the mindless accumulation of property, assets and personal goods in an attempt to feel good about being empty, without love.

Spirituality solves love problems at the source. Instead of putting band aids on issues, substitutes, we actually find what is stopping a person from doing what is the most important and most natural thing on earth, falling in love. Then we can manifest whatever we choose, with love. We throw away all the material measures of the quality of a relationship, we are not interested in a loveless fifty year relationship. We ask, how in love a couple are; I mean really in love, dependent on each other, devoted to each other. This is what is important. This is love. This is what I measure in love.

You make your job part of your relationship. My job is my hobby. My hobbies give me interest outside of my relationship that make me a better person to be around. I paddle my Kayak, go to Nepal, do my keynotes, write my books, so that my spirit is alive, my heart opened. And because of that, I come into my lovers arms awake, alive. They get the best of me, not the company. My children get the best of me, not my sport. The question is prioritisation. What do you prioritise? My love is my number one, if I am not in a great space for her, then I am asking for troubles.

Imagine a business. It has 2 employees. It makes $50,000 profit a year. That is the purpose of a business. Make profit. Profit to business, is like love to relationship. Now, five years and a lot of hard work later, the business has 40 employees, new buildings, new clients, new computers - what would you expect? Yes, you'd expect the profit to be more, because now, it is a bigger business, right? So what if the business has 40 employees and makes the same profit. $50,000 profit? Everybody in the business is getting paid more because they have grown in skill, the business is consuming more, producing more, but is still making $50,000 profit. Why do you think that would happen?

Because all the profit has been given to all the other elements of the business, channeled into buildings, computers, staff, longer hours, more travel, everything has received the profit except the business. This business cannot pay it's debts, it cannot invest in itself because all the profit leaked out in all the "compromises."

This is what happens when a couple doesn't grow their love and get distracted by work and children. Substituted relationship. If you measure the love between two people by how many children they have, how many homes they own, how much sex they have, how much fame they have, it is a frame without a heart, not a relationship. It's like measuring the business by how many employees it has, or how big the turnover is, or how much office space it has. But this is not the lifeblood of a business. Profit, banked and saved, invested outside the business, is the purpose of business and gives it legs to expand. Love in a relationship must be expanding. Love must also grow and be invested in our heart. Separate to children, houses, sex, bank accounts, success, holidays, meditation or yoga gurus. Your love is between you and your sacred lover, no matter who they are, they are sacred, it is you who can change.

The reason relationships don't grow is because couples lack awareness. Yes, people want their ego fed all the time about how wonderful they are. They really don't want honesty about how you feel, or what you think. So, there is discomfort with discomfort.

Imagine that business with 2 employees has an issue keeping track of the cash flow. It could work out why, and put in a system to manage that. But imagine if instead of putting in a system that can grow with the business, the owners put in a system that fixes the problem. They invest in a hand made accounting system to track cash flow. Then next year, the same problem occurs because they just "fixed" it, so now they "fix" it again. And so many years later they are still fixing the problem.

Short term thinking, is ego thinking. It is the argument between the human spirit and the ego. The ego wants to fix the problem now. It is only interested in pleasure. If it is hungry it eats. The ego can't save, learn, improve, or evolve because it only wants short-term fixes to long-term problems. Love is the long-term. Dreams, visions, hopes and aspirations. The ego must be sacrificed in the short-term, for the benefit of the long-term, love.

So, in relationship, if we are loyal to an old family tradition, an old issues, an old meme, an old pattern, angry at the past, same expectations, same beliefs, then that system (the ego) is frozen. That is not sacred. That is quick fix love, stuck in the past, and reacting to life. Eventually, we say, "I want more" and blame our lover.

The standard solution to this is to increase the emphasis on substitutes. We start wanting more sex, more money, more work, more happiness. We keep the same old process of dealing with our challenges and just look for another place to get those "more" things, And maybe for a while we find them. But then that old feeling comes, and we move again. Or we resign ourselves to the fact that relationships, like running a business, are a problem filled existence. So we just lie down and accept it, hoping to make it to our fiftieth anniversary of crumby compromise. We then say, "Look how good my children are, how good my life was", and point to the children as the result, loading them with what should have come from your relationship.

Everyday there are challenges in your relationship. Everyday there is an opportunity to grow in love. Spirituality is not a separate thing from your relationship, nor is it about materialising and manifesting, that is religion. No, spirituality is the process of growth, of using challenge to come back to truth. Bigger houses are not truth, more money is not truth. Love is truth in relationship. Profit is truth in business. Spirituality brings you back to this in both. Love is the process of relationship. Relationship can manifest all it wants without any compromise, as long as issues are addressed at the cause level - not solved at the effect level.

Then there is growth. Spirituality is the process of growing your love through issues.

That spiritual process is revealed in nature. Without human interference, the laws of nature reveal the universal beauty of love, and therefore any issue you pass through their guidance will turn, from an ego emotion, to love. This is the heart of sacred relationship.

Affirmation

My love for you will never change.

I would have loved you, even if I had never met you.

I know you in my heart, feel you in my soul, and I have never asked why.

I can't posses you, my love is more than that.

You may go away but you can never leave, never die, my love bridges that void.

I know your every breath, I smell your skin, feel your eyes on me.

I expect nothing except that I never forget this sacred Love.

My love is pure, only my expectations can be rejected.

My dream makes your happiness eternal.

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Love, Relationships and Sacred Love - Fighting Off the Gremlins That Shorten Relationships

Love is an amazing journey. There are many people who can love really deeply. Often people say to me "I love really deeply and so I get hurt a lot" but I would like to argue today, that nature disagrees with that assessment.

The ability to love cannot be measured in the opportunities to celebrate the good times, the emotional highs or positives. This is the shallowest love. Sometimes the person who claims to hold the deepest love, has the complete opposite because their love, cannot be sustained when things get difficult.

The real measure of love, is "how resilient it is?"

Love is life any pleasure. More does not always make you happier. You can make love all the weekend but 30 seconds after you stop one phone call comes in from your ex partner and you go into an emotional spiral. If things like this can send you down, then your love might be called an infatuation. If outside disturbances send you into an emotional spiral, then your love, no matter how passionate is incomplete love.

If your love is interrupted by worry or anger, then it is a weak love, a love filled with emotional uppers, balanced by emotional downers.

Love is a power. It is the power of sustainability. Love is the laser focus, where you make every moment count. Yes, stuff happens to us, parents die, friends get upset, children disobey and demand, work is stressful and travel exhausting. But love is like a martial art, it is not passive. It does not sit behind your dynamics with people waiting for the air to be clear before it is given priority. Love is the priority on which you live.

It is wise to consider this in your relationships. Because the consequence of not prioritising love is disastrous. Love does not imply that other things, other elements of your life do not exist, however, love does imply that the chord that links you, no matter where you are is more important that the emotional attachments you have to other things.

I meet people all over the world, who, in the first months of a relationship are gushing and loving, sort of like a lasso they throw out in order to capture their lover. But within a short period of time, distractions draw them away, excuses for not showing up start to trickle into their offering of love.

Oh, my mother is upset because I didn't invite her to stay for October. Oh, my father hates me because I like my mother. Oh, my ex might reduce the maintenance payments if we do that. Oh, I can't afford a baby sitter this week. Oh, I am so distressed, I don't like my apartment. Oh, the business is not going well, I am so worried about it. Oh, my back is so sore I need to take anti inflammatory. Oh, I am too tired to trave there. Oh, I don't feel like. Oh, my friend said I was mean to her, but I wasn't.

These are what I call, the gremlins. Little warriors of emotions that come to take love and split it into, an undercurrent, "sure we love each other, we are both very busy though" The gremlins find their way through self important emotional dramas, through the invasion of people who are not relevant, and the gremlins eventually take over.

Protecting your relationship from gremlins means protecting your relationship from your outer circle. Your love is a sanctuary, like a holy place, a sacred place and all emotion, whether it be love making or work or worry, must be subordinate to it.

Love is sacred. If you treat it so, love is a magnificent place from which to live. But if you are the victim of your emotions, blown here, running there, ups and downs, over and ups, your love will no longer be a priority, and over a short period of time, will turn to tatters. Pleasure is the bandaid the uninitiated use to repair love that is filled with gremlins, sexuality with a fancy negligee, but such weapons against gremlins fails.

To feed the hungry gremlins means to feed drama. There will never be enough pleasure to make the gremlin happy. After a week on a wonderful romantic honeymoon, one phone call, one piece of information can wipe all the happiness out, and turn the moment to a disaster. You can swim in a five star swimming pool and have luxury treatments in a spa, but one molecule of news can wipe it all. For those whose commitment to love is weak, the cracks of self importance through which the gremlins creep are wide open.

The gremlins that kill relationships, rarely come from within the relationship. Two lovers may find the space and love that is truly sacred. But then ex partners, families, money issues, work, health, ambitions, greed, jealousy, friends jealousy, kids, and more start to creep in. They are the enemy. The gremlins. You must be at war with those gremlins. You must know they are like a cancer that so quickly erodes the beauty and integrity of sacred love.

To live in sacred relationship we must learn mind control. Learn to master our reactions to emotional triggers. The self indulgent person is deluded in thinking the pleasure will last without mind control. They lack it. They are the victim, disempowered, seeking peaceful places because they do not have the mind power to create peace within. These emotionally frail individuals blame the world for their lack of mind control. They blow like the wind, moody, reactive. Such a person cannot sustain sacred love.

Mind control comes with the understanding of the Universal Laws of nature.

Prioritise love. Prioritise love. Beyond love making, prioritise love, the sanctuary between you where no other news, no other soul, no noise, no disturbance, no problem or person can invade. Hold this space sacred, never release it. 24/7 this is the space where two lovers work, live and play. Sacred love can be so strong that there is no need to worship Gods and Goddess in temples or places of religion, love is god, and god is love, sacred love is that home and it exists in the heart of two warriors. To people who are ready to work for what they believe is possible. Sacred Love.

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris's work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Sacred Love - The Rituals of Love

Surrender to love. Today, and every day, fall in love, again, and again and again. Give more than is expected of you. Expect no reward. The beauty of love will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable to your beloved that eventually you will become indispensable. Find their dream and help them live it. Exercise your privilege to support their journey, go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!

Today

Do something special for someone out of love

Laugh even if you have to invent it

Cry one tear of gratitude

Accept a gift

Live a dream

Use Magic

Float

Stay still for just 5 minutes on your own

Breath a breath of life giving air

Clear your mind for 30 seconds

Look up

Say thank you

Give somebody a special treat

Be Gentle

Step back from it all for just one long breath.

Succeed

To be in love, and to stay in love, is to surrender to another person. Then we open to direct communication. There is no trust required if the ego is soft. To be in a relationship, and celebrate the spontaneity of falling in love, we cannot hide. We cannot be embarrassed about our strange collection of qualities. We present everything as it is. And in return we must welcome our lover, without ego, and accept their strange collection of qualities too. Surrender means working together with love. You cannot take the moral high ground and still hold love sacred. You cannot surrender to love and then say, "IF".

Surrender means, "Here I am, and here you are". There is no need to make you better so that "I can love you in the future". There is no "if" in love.

To surrender means you'll need to get used to marching directly into disappointment, work with disappointment, go into it, and make it an acceptable and important part of your way of life. Your expectations are not true, they are the barrier to the journey of love, so you must stop hoping to achieve them in your relationship, not want to achieve them, but to dismantle them.

Disappointment is a good sign of loving intelligence, because it reveals an honesty between your expectations and your love. It cannot be compared to anything else; it is so sharp, precise, obvious and direct. If we can open, surrender to love, then we suddenly begin to see that our expectations are not going to be met, no matter how much we try. Every time we change somebody, move them shift them, love dies. Wanting things to be different than they are is the mark of the ego. This is not love, this is the ego. They are opposites. So it takes courage to say, "You didn't meet my expectations, and that revealed how much I needed to grow." This is sacred love. A moving soft ego, always looking to adapt.

To stay in Love means we come down into the dirty, ordinary, street scene of reality. That is where real devotion and love exists. When we love someone we must learn to trust ourselves, surrender to love. This does not involve preparing for a soft landing, being half in and half out, hedging your bets. Nobody ever succeeded by creating escape routes.

I raced a surf ski in the life saving carnivals in Australia. Sometimes the waves were 20 feet high, and to crash the ski was an amazingly dangerous thing. But it happened nearly every time, because so many of us were going down the waves thinking, "What happens if I crash?". One day, I was out in huge waves with an old guy, a veteran with the oldest wooden ski. As the biggest wave of the day rose behind us, twenty-five foot like a building, I watched this old guy, I saw the look on his face, and he was just like a child. He looked 15 years old, his smile could have lit a city, his hooting and hollering was so enthusiastic, he was having a ball. Instead of holding back, thinking "What happens if...", he just threw his whole heart and soul into that wave and had the time of his life. I just fell in love with his exuberance, and thought that anybody who puts so much into anything they do is going to attract a crowd. He said to me later, "One great thing about age, there's less to go that there was, you know if you die, you may as well die with a smile on your dial, having a ball, doing it all."

Love actually means being prepared to land on hard, ordinary ground; on the rocky, wild countryside of confrontation of your own issues. What you don't like in your lover is a mirror of your ego. Once we open ourselves, then we land on what is, it's disappointing, and this is the real beauty of love. People can reject your expectations, they cannot reject your love.

In true love, you have to allow your "self" to surrender. There is nothing to fear losing once you identify with the simplicity of surrender. The only thing that can be hurt is your ego, so if you can develop a soft ego, you will be free to hold that power of love anytime you choose. If your ego can flex, then there is no hurt. Instead of taking the ego and emotions so seriously, take love seriously. Love can shine through everything. The key to doing this is to surrender the moral high ground, and automatically you soften your ego, you.

Ritual

Try taking time to sit quietly in nature daily and imagine how much you love your lover, or ex-lover, once you drop any expectation of them. Consider all the issues you see in them as a mirror of you. By finding the balance, see if you can love those issues in you. You must remain committed to continuously improving this skill of discernment between a love free of expectation, and a love filled with judgments and projection. The real power you have in life, is to drop your ego driven judgments of right and wrong. Just love. No forgiveness. Love like that day on the beach when I saw the moon. Let go, fall in love with all those who have been on your path. Feel it sitting behind all the facades, and know that it is always there. This is nature's healing.

We bring our devotion into everyday life through the art of ritual. Rituals are more than acts of anchoring, they become acts of devotion to something beyond the self.

Ritual is an act of respect for someone or something outside ourselves, a large or small act of giving without need or desire to receive. Ritual can be spontaneous, but the true value of ritual is a relentless commitment, come rain, hail or shine.

That is the difference between doing something for ego, and doing it for ritual. Steadiness is the mark of ritual. Rituals of steadiness are repeated day, after day, after day. They are not for self, but are a mark of respect for something higher, like a purpose in life.

Ritual is how we bridge the inspiration of our inner stillness with the spontaneity of everyday life. If you walk around India, you will see this ritual as a way of life. Small paintings on doorsteps, the day couldn't begin without it, or the candle lit in the hall in honor of a deceased relative, or incense burning as a thank you to the Gods. Flowers adorn alters, not requesting privilege, it is an act of ritual. And nothing could prevent it happening. It is a mark of respect to something bigger than the individual.

Rituals are acts of Devotion. Here are some wonderful examples that people have developed and shared with me over the years. Remember, ritual is not an act of manifestation of anything, it is a remembrance of the divine nature of life.

1. Maintaining an altar in your home and keeping it clean daily.

2. Lighting a candle in the evening.

3. Saying a prayer of thank you at meal time.

4. Holding hands in the park.

5. Maintaining a garden.

6. Having a photo wall of those you love.

7. Having an affirmation wall with pictures of future dreams on it

8. Writing love letters to each other and posting them.

9. Cleaning the kitchen as an act of love.

10. Saving money according to an agreed plan for the future.

11. Never going to bed with an argument in progress

12. Loyalty, always standing up for and speaking well of your lover.

13. Prioritisation of your relationship over other things.

14. Maintaining health and wellness so you can turn up for love.

Can you see that we can re arrange many everyday tasks so they become acts of love? Even taking the garbage out can become a ritual act of love that makes your partners life easier. Then we are acting with loving intent, and it will be rewarded ten fold. In this way, we are not feeding the ego through what we do, we are humble to ritual, and the key is to be willing to maintain that ritual even when you don't want to, or need to, any longer. These are just a few ideas on the rituals of love. I am sure you can think of a few more unique ones between you. Remember to make them every day events and easy.

Today, love without expectation. Love someone you hate, love someone you fear, love someone you left behind and don't take their reaction to heart. Make every day a Valentines day, and see how many people you can honor, past present and future. Love them from a place if gratefulness. Love them knowing tomorrow may never come and know that the deepest regret any human being can have, is to hold back their love, even for a second.

Today, light a candle in your heart for all those people that you love or have loved. Drink a glass of fresh water to their beauty, their gifts and their ways. Hope and wish that today, on this everyday Valentines day, they are in love, with love and they are happy. What else could real love be, but the wish for someone else's happiness.

Loving acts are acts done out of love, because of love, and without the expectation of love in return.

Humility is important as well. To get past the Ego is to cut away the rough edges of vanity, which hurts and disturbs those one meets in life. Vanity is separateness. Truly loving individuals will recognise themselves in others, and rather than judge them as less, they appreciate the mirror. It is of no service to yourself or your relationship to judge another as less or more. It is expansive to acknowledge our own humility. So many of life's stresses can be extinguished at the source, if we are able to recognise ourselves in others.

Devotion means that our lover's happiness becomes a high priority. This is the demonstration of our love. There is nothing more important, nothing more potent, than the small acts of our devotion. We dedicate every circumstance we can to their improvement and happiness.

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Sacred Love - Healing a Broken Heart; Part 1

Live with an open heart. Move to love. Accept the diversity of love. Don't run away, have the courage to change your consciousness around love. Hold your love for life supreme, devote your life to it. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your love is too precious to be sacrificed defending menial emotions like hate, jealously, and envy. Your life is fragile, stay open in love, guard it carefully. With an open heart we learn not to punish people for who they are. Other people can't belong to us, no matter how much we love them; our only right is to appreciate them. Don't allow support or challenge to distract you from doing what you love, being with who you love, and giving what you love. Give respect to people by honoring their choices even if you don't agree with them. Love is not attachment. Do not react to negativity, ignore it, let it pass you; don't even hit the ball back. Never accept criticism you didn't ask for. Opinions are the cheapest commodity on earth. Their stress is not your stress, their fears and doubts are not your doubts. Only the universe of Nature can create the magnificence of a flower, but any foolish mind can pull it to pieces. So openhearted living is inspired living. You can be inspired simply by knowing that everything you feel was inside you, already. Someone just bought it out. And at least that makes you honest with yourself.

Beauty is Spirituality in Reality

During hardship, don't let faith in your spiritual world die. Know that you are always being guided, and sometimes, that guidance takes us into places we never would have chosen. But can you see that this is integrity because you devote something to your existence, and have the willingness to deal with where you are taken? You asked for leadership and you are getting it. Work with the laws of nature and you can find beauty in the darkness, healing. Sometimes we get a flood or drought, a bush fire, and all manner of things come to us even though we never overtly asked for them, the key is to learn from our life, not resent it.

Without knowing you, I can only surmise the cause of your current circumstances. Nature's laws reveal the guidance you are being given.

When a person is deeply challenged at a personal level, and beginning to feel angry and hopeless, it is because they have lost their real dream. Sometimes in these circumstances we try to live someone else's. It is a sort of suicide of the spirit. Emotional challenge asks a person, "What is your dream?" If you have defined your life as what you own, how you feel, or who you are with, you have built a very problematic existence and your spiritual path may be blocked.

When the wind has blown hard against the tree, is there still a tree? When the flood has stripped the earth, is there still an earth? We are continually being stripped of our ego, to find all that is lovable, our guided path, so no matter what you do, you are wonderful, guided and worthy.

I can help you answer the question, "What is my dream?" It is very easy. You take some spare time and go into the forest and find stillness. Then, unravel the knot that has become tangled. Let the stories unfold so that your heart can be open again. Learn from experiences, rather than fight them. There is no use in anger, or even analysis, there is simply growth. Heal by finding the beauty in others.

To heal, we must see beauty without reason, and to achieve that, simply diversify your outlook. See what is beautiful in something bad, and you will have crossed the line. Your life force, which is what people feel when they are near you, will be released from its judgment. We cannot do anything productive while we are suffering disappointment from the past, or false hope for the future. We must learn to see the beauty in every circumstance. No victims.

You are a wonderful person, who has a lot of love to give the world. Whatever job or relationship you have can bring out your best, happiest, and most spiritual self - if you can heal the hurt, and step forward with an inspired attitude. Find the beauty in everything.

The word for the heart in Arabic is "qalb" and literally means "that which fluctuates";

the heart expands and contracts, and even in its purified condition passes through many states. The subtle faculties of the heart are our deepest knowing. That knowing is frequently veiled, or confused by more superficial levels of the mind - by opinions, desires, social conditioning and especially by our fears. The veils of conditional thought may obscure the mirror of the heart by the soot of emotions, by the corrosion of negative attitudes. In fact ,we easily confuse the ego's emotions with the feelings of the heart.

Overcoming the need to react

You already know your love

You already know your love

And all the judgments are just the dance around it.

Blaming him, blaming her, these are just lies.

Even if you find a guru to agree with you

They are lying too

Blame is a lie, it feeds the ego, and the ego can only lie.

Ego cannot be authentic, it can only copy, react, duplicate, replicate.

Love is the spark that makes a fire.

The flames are the ego.

Never let that spark go out.

Without it, there is no fire.

During challenge, try to be in the moment, quietly, and do not talk too much. Fast response to challenge is not likely to result in anything thoughtful. The best thing is to be as quiet as possible, and to think about the matter for while before expressing your reaction. If somebody says they want to know right away, you can say, "Well, I don't know right this second, but I'll tell you tomorrow". Avoid answers that come in that moment.

Reaction to another person is like throwing petrol on a fire. It serves only to create tension. It should become obvious in life that reacting to people places them far from their own true nature, far from their own true spirit, and is a great cause of broken harmony. To this end, harmony should be akin to stability. Stability however can only come from inner stillness.

The greatest reactions are those made by people to some form of insult or accusation. The more accurate the accusation, the greater the reaction. It serves neither person to react. Every reaction creates another action. The sign of a wise manager of a business is one who does not react - one who holds the calm until all the facts are gathered.

Remember, you always have choice as to how you respond to any situation. There is a wise way and an unwise way. Wise is to see the balance, the two sides of it and then choose the action, unwise is to see one side of a thing and then react, one is powerful and truth, the other is illusion, it is a choice.

The best way to know God is to love many things. -Vincent Van Gogh

Love goes deeper and deeper when you learn to be in the moment, quiet, and not talk too much. Then you will experience a deeper awareness of life. Fast response to challenge is not likely to result in anything thoughtful, so the best thing to do is to be as quiet as possible, and to think about matters. To cultivate this true love, we need to get away from our conventional environment from time to time, and create the spaciousness for clarity. We need to create seclusion for ourselves, to sit peacefully in the clarity of solitude, illuminated by emptiness.

If the mind is happy, the heart will be true, and then the body will be relaxed. We must find out how to become happy within, without achieving anything. Wanting to celebrate a loving relationship without discovering some level of self contentment is like trying to cover the whole world with leather to avoid the pain of walking on stones and thorns It is of course, much simpler to wear shoes.

Arguments

Emotion causes arguments. You react, then they react, and then you react; the pressure builds until there is a screaming match. Emotion is like a pressure cooker, the heat under it is lopsided thinking, and the frustration is building inside. Eventually you can't take the lid off because there is so much pressure in there.

That's why pressure cookers have that little pressure relief valve on the top. And so do you. You must create a pressure relief valve for yourself, not so you can stop feeding the emotion, but so you can stop bursting with steam, and try to see the two sides of something.

Two people can only argue if both of them are emotional. If you see the other person's point of view and they are still emotional, then they must surely be arguing with themselves.

I use this response when people give me their worst insult. For example, guys who are insecure and want to compete. They to do the "I'm better than you thing", they say in an aggressive tone, "You are a ........." Of course they are hoping I will turn around and say "You are too" which is grounds for a street fight. But I just turn around, look at them and say, "Yeah, I know" and keep walking. The is mahatma Gandhi's way, he said "accept every insult without resistance and it's like handing the issue right back to the giver"

All our emotional arguments, all the tears, anger and stress are created out of imbalanced thinking. Stupid isn't it? It is such a denial of what is blatantly obvious in nature. Religions are the lifeblood of lopsided thinking. That is how they separate you from God and give themselves a job.

The Lower people move down the consciousness tree, the more violent they become. At the bottom of that consciousness cone, people are very righteous, fundamental, "I am right you are wrong" and this is a very violent argument. As your rise up the cone, the level of emotion is exactly the same, arguments can be quite passionate but there is not all or nothing mind space. There is the ability to take it easy, to see the other persons viewpoint, and therefore there is more arbitration.

At the top we see both sides. The argument is the same as at the bottom, same topic different process. At the bottom people argue one side or the other. At the top people argue in order to see both sides. Balanced information always exists to every debate.

At the top of the cone it is a search for balance. At the bottom, where it is violent and rejecting, there is an attempt to find imbalance, one side or the other.

You are the breeze

Gentle soul, you are the breeze that kisses my skin

Beneath the pines

And I hear you whisper into my heart

I see your sunlight

Your tenderness

It brushes my lips

And we are together

The world is gone

We are in love, forever.

Beyond Arguments dealing with Emotional Challenge

There are always options as to how you react. Say you find it out your car was stolen just before you are going to the airport. One solution is to fly into a rage, swearing and cursing, spinning with anger at those thieves, and completely cutting years off your life. That's the emotional reaction. The other reaction is, "Well I see the bad side and man that makes me angry, I feel really angry, but there must be an upside to this. Now I won't have to store the car while I am gone, maybe it means someone is feeding their family tonight (selling it), maybe the insurance will cover it. Maybe we can think of buying a different car when we get back."

Love More

The key to healing a broken heart is to love more. The pain of a broken heart is emotional blockage, which stops love. But there is no need to stop loving someone, just because they are not with you. If they hurt you, lied to you, or cheated on you, then you can be really truthful and admit, "No more than I did to myself". All that aside, just because somebody doesn't do what you thought they were going to do, it is not a signal to stop loving them. Just a signal to love them more.

The more you love something, or someone, the less you are attached to them. If you emotionalise, then you are attached and can't survive without them. Or you can be so angry that you can't feel how much you love them. However, if this happens you go back out into the world bitter, and people smell your bitterness. Then, the only relationships you can have are bitter ones. So it is better to love the past, admire their gifts and their beauty, and simply say, "That past relationship failed because I wasn't ready to love that person enough. I drew the line at something".

Beware of forgiveness. This is a really bad place to get stuck in moving forward. There is an implied notion in forgiveness that you are the victim and they are the criminal. This is not really going to heal anything, although it's far better than hate. The healed place of the past, is admiration. If you speak of your ex, then speak in admiration, if they were good enough to meet, they are still good enough to give thank you to.

Wish them happiness. That means you aren't responsible for their happiness. You wish them love and happiness. Then you are not in the loop anymore. You simply do all you can, as a citizen of the earth, to make another human beings life good. You don't take credit and don't take blame. Just love. Simply love them more and know that you have every trait you are condemning in them. So if you can admire them, you are admiring you, this is especially healthy.

If you react to the past and don't come to love the past, then you drag the past into the future. Your love will again be conditional, hell, because you'll end up living in a box, alone, surrounded by your baggage, and pretending you are happy without the love and affection of a lover.

Sacred Love requires work. It is easy to love a flower, it just sits in a pot and smiles. It is easy to love a dog, you are just stern with it, or give it a bone, and it is obedient. It's easy to love a person you hardly ever meet, because you can "tolerate" them for short stints. It's even easier to love a religion or spiritual philosophy because that icon sits there and never disagrees, never reveals your shame and anger. It fixes all those problems by patting you on the head and telling you that you did well by doing worship. It's easy to love kids. You just get them to do what you want and the world is happy, they can even live out some of your own missed hopes. Just load them up with your expectations to be what you failed to be. But relationship?

Now we are dealing with love. Love that is not easy. Don't you think its amazing that we can look up in the universe and admire all of creation, we can admire imaginary Gods and spirits that we never saw, in our whole life, but when our partner contradicts us, we blame them and say, that is not God, that is not lovable. Then we climb on our high horse (the ego), and tell that lover they are unworthy of love and better change tomorrow.

There is nothing that can happen on earth that the creator didn't create. It all got created, then people wrote books. The whole of creation is made from love, then people wrote books trying to explain it. But their explanations are flawed because they are human, they are fear driven. All of life and all of creation is explained in love. People didn't write books and then create a world. You fall in love, in harmony with your creator, a love moment when your ego is asleep, and then it wakes up and individualises you, separates you from creation. This is where all our suffering comes from. Some people believe they can defy nature, but life is very long in this regard, 20 years is nothing. Debts are accrued - you can watch it.

The only thing in the entire universe that you can change, is your mind. Funny isn't it. It is the only thing you can change, and always the last.

Beyond Blame

Nobody can break your heart. Your heart can't break. Your mind can break, but your heart can't break. It feels like your heart is broken but it is not. Your mind got offended. So you tried to stop loving somebody, your mind stopped loving somebody. That is what "breaks your heart". Your mind got a challenge, your mind expected them to do one thing, and they did another. Then, you hated them, so you had to stop letting the love flow. But you can't stop loving. You must need to know how to love without having them. To love someone is not possessing them. To love someone you don't even have to like them. Liking someone is not loving.

When you stop letting the love for somebody out, you hurt yourself. If you stop admitting that you love somebody, then you "break your own heart." Because your heart only knows one thing, it knows how to love. It doesn't know how not to love. So, when you block your love for somebody, you block it to yourself, your next partner, your next partner, and your next partner. You block it for your whole life. Especially if it is a parent that you block your love to.

Beyond Blame

In Nature,

unity comes from diversity.

The person who will love most,

will love with open palms.

A closed fist of control

is like a the hardened crust of the earth,

waiting for an earth quake

to force a tsunami.

Soften the ego,

then you will learn to flex.

In relationship, it is easy to love when you first "fall in love", because your mind was out of the way and your heart was free to love. Then the mind remembers the past, and that unhealed love relationship starts to bring memories back in. Inch by inch your heart gets blocked by all the unfinished business from the past. I went out with a lady who, many years before, had a teenage love affair. She was so badly affected by the loss of it, that her chest collapsed. From then on, all her partners were older men because she thought they would not "dump her" like that boy in her teens. She found she could love for the first weeks of a new affair, but after that, she was crazy in fear, hyper sensitive to all her issues. You could say she was very messed up, but really, it was a blockage in her heart to that one boy, so long ago, and it had never been fixed.

Really when we talk of a broken heart we mean broken ego. That ego in the west is our identity, so when someone breaks our expectations, we say we have a broken heart. This is why so many eastern teachings try to get you past the ego, because that ego can raise you up in excitement and dump you down in a broken heart feeling. Western teachers of eastern philosophy confuse the whole issue. They try to use eastern teaching to elate you, to raise you up, thinking, in a white Anglo Saxon way, that there can be a life without sin. This is how the great eastern teachings about nature got polluted. Even eastern gurus who go to the west mix the whole teaching up because if they are honest, they will have no students. They are afraid of the truth, that there is a balance in nature.

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Sacred Love - Relationship Problem Solving Made Easy Part 11

Solving problems in relationships requires honesty, integrity and a downright simple understanding of where the answers are not....

1/ Nobody does anything to you more that you do to yourself

2/ Blame doesn't work

3/ If you can't go back you are carrying baggage

4/ Sex is not the answer

5/ you are the same person, in or out of relationship

6/ Love is not attachment, control, possession, need or anything like that.

7/ Laughter is health

8/ Busy - ness kills love.

9/ Everything is possible without changing anything.

The person who is in relationship, fearing loneliness, fearing a repeat of the past is committing a very high form of abuse. They are living in an independence, a bubble of delusion unable to open to truth they apply the laws of relationship and set boundaries like this is what I want and this is what I need. and this is what I don't need. So they are loving with their mind. Mind love is mind games, substituting ideas for investment, substituting their rules for love. In this relationship the hardness of rock can be compared to it. Like a religious seeker, or a devotee, they cannot love, just repeat their priest or guru, and say this is how it is, this is how it shoud be. It's like western people wearing a sari and saying "I am indian" a false representation. there cannot be love in this situation, only imprisonment of the spirit.

We need a home. We need a physical and emotional home. Yes, this is really important. Emptiness is the lack of a home. We fear emptiness, because now our mind is not validated as representing our home (knowledge and righteousness) our emotions are found to be delusional they are no longer validated as being our home. Our money can be stolen or our possessions lost, so if these are our home we become fearful that our lover will steal our safety, living always in worry and problems. Our dreams are no home, they are hopes and ambitions and blind recitation of second hand knowledge is really no home because it takes so little to debunk it. Emptiness exists behind all this. Behind the bricks and mortar that you call home, behind the veil of your spiritual or religious practice there is loneliness and emptiness. Here is the love that is possible.

Homelessness is Godliness. You won't want to accept it because your ego will be fighting for it's own survival. How can I live without the bricks and mortar and the rights and wrongs of my morality? And you are right to argue this. How can you live without the contructions? there is in fact no need to live without them, but the day you validate them as something measurable, something real and significant, then you have forfeit the very reason your own soul incarnated into this life. If there is no love, then all that is really the barrier, there cannot be a God in a heart that cannot love.

We build homes. Titles, trophies, families, wealth, careers, knowledge, we can repeat, store, possess and accumulate so much that if the earth stopped turning we'd still be wealthy. But we cannot build a home to camouflage our emptiness.

Nothing. Empty. A vacuum. A black hole in the universe. A nothingness that is unbarable. The experience of the meditator. the witnessing of the depressed. The hopelessness of the suicide victim. A place condemned by the material surface of the shallow worlds of repition nad conformity, yet, sanctified by those who know love. Santified by all the great teachers, prophets and leaders of depth, emptiness, the place of genius, and brilliance in music, art and mathematics. the empty mind, is the sacred mind, the spirit of the mountain, here, now, empty but for this moment of existence. this is love.

Spirituality applied is the athlete who knows nothing other than this one millisecond of performance. This is the business person who, in a flash knows choices, a child on a swing who goes one swing to far, the love who falls without regard for the cost. This is the magic of love. Emotiness, the highest note sung by a performer.

So rare is this moment in the average life that we have become obsessed with sex. Because in the moment of climax this experience occurs. Months of persuit just for that one moment of climax, manipulation, distortion just for that one moment, when all else goes blank and the world ends. So complex has this become that the average person cannot even invest the effort in partnering for it would bring to much disturbance to their pleasure hunt, and hence they masturbate.

Obsessed with substitution, the average person can fall in love for moments, then, remember how it was forever. They have little preparedness to find the emptiness that guarantees love. If the average person were excited about nothing, inspired by life itself then the trend toward sex and the industry it sporns would be less. But this is not the case. Corporations design jobs for people who want to be safe and conform. So sex becomes their only outlet. In fact it is not sex or relationship at all that causes this obsession. It is that one moment of release, that moment of emptiness that we call loneliness, that moment of orgasm that causes this obsession. Emptiness is a human desire.

So why does the mind conform? Why are we obsessed with second hand knowledge? Why do we try to create relationships that are built on patterns? to understand these questions we must understand a little more about mind science.

It is quite a strange obsession this need to conform. It is not freedom, which most people aspire to. It is not independence which the spirit wants in order to express it's love. So the fact that we drive so hard to repeat what others have told us, in bibles and gita books seems to be driven by something very strong, given that the cost is so high.

We conform in order to gain intimacy. Intimacy is associated with security. A person who is insecure will seek intimacy through the process of conformity. This means that the individual is seaching for security through intimacy, and to do this they must label things as safe and unsafe. So, if they are labeled as a bhudist for example it might be safe. They could also label others as safe and unsafe by diagnosing them as depressed or liars. That is how we try to make sense of the world, by giving it a label. then there is security and in security there is intimacy of sorts. It is an open letter demanding conformity to a precedent of principles. Basically a request to ask the lover to lie or die.

Patterns are build out of conformity to a dogma, laws or principles. Patterns overcome fear, so the insecure person will demand patterns. They gain access to security by overcoming their fears by creating patterns for themselves and particularly others to follow. So, these patterns are helpful but they too cost. To live by patterns is to deny internal freedom, to deny love, it is a mind game in which disorder in relationship is guaranteed.

What builds patterns in relationships? Comparison is the first thing. That means that one person might compare themselves and their lover to someone else and demand that they meet that expectation. Like even comparison to how their ex husband or wife was not. We can build expectations out of the opposites can't we. We can build ideals and models of who we are looking to be with based on who we don't want to be with. Automatically by doing this we inject the mind into love and then there cannot be love. Can you see this?

Disorder in relationship is poison to it. Understanding can turn chaos to order. So knowledge is the enemy of order. Knowledge is disorder. Fools know everything. That person who knows how it can be, should be or could be done is the fool because this person mistakes knowledge for love. Knowledge blocks love. what you know about somebody only eliminates your insecurity, blocks your fears. Your knowledge is based on your information. That information you can say is wise or unwise but it comes from the mind, whether you call it intuition or not, it comes out and through the mind. So, disorder in the mind, is the result of knowledge, and knowledge comes mostly from experience. Experience is emotional incompleteness until it is love.

Experiences that are anything but love are delusional. So you might say, "I fell out of love with someone" and then want to fall in love with someone else, but you are actually lying to yourself. You became fearful, insecure and therefore you needed some knowledge in order to justify running away from that insecurity and you called them good or bad. But they are not the cause. You are the cause, your insecurity and need for patterns is the cause, because you are unable to face real love.

If you even leave a relationship it is unlikely that it would succeed if you went back because you will now have partial knowledge. You will not have understanding, or if you do, it will be blame and incomplete. Mostly we analyse things in order to know them and justify our judgements of them. To go back to a relationship you must not know anything. To go back, which is the best path, you must really just fall in love and have amnesia. What past? What other lovers? Who would care about such things? Only a person who is afraid of being hurt or afraid of falling down in love.

That is the key you see. Falling down in love is the necessity of it. You must be disappointed in order to really be into the sacredness of love. That void is falling down over and over. It only hurts your ego. Really love cannot hurt, or be hurt, only your ego can be hurt, and isn't that the mind, getting less and less control so that intimacy can appear. I don't mean conformity or safety I mean truth.

One lady who came to me for advice was obsessed with lies. She lied to her mother, her father, her ex husband and her lover. She lied to her son and her friends. She wanted patterns that were predicatable in her life so she lied in order to giove people the impression she was a conformist, a patterned individual so that she could have security. Her fear was that if she were honest she would be intimate with people. That intimacy would be real and take the form of love, both acceptance and rejection of herself. She wanted only pleasure in love so she lied. Everybody knew she lied. she thought that they didn't know. It was real because did get rejected but not for being herself, she got rejected because she lied to everyone.

Those people who want patterns - to conform must surround themselves with fools also. They are looking for more knowledge, actually confirmation of the same wounded knowledge that they possess. They look for flattery, and because of that, there can be no innocence in their life.

An innocent mind, has amnesia. It forgets the past. Not because it is avoiding it ot running away from it but because it has found only love in the past and therefore it sees only one white wall, one clear sheet of paper which it calls the past. The whole past merges into that one clean sheet of paper. It was all love. So tomorrow is not based on escaping from yesterday, to running away to find tomorrow. There is nothing to run from and nothing to fear from the past. They can fall in love when they choose with that person from the past because they are actually new.

Many times we run from the past. But actually those experiences are the fodder for deeper love. We run with knowledge and lack of understanding. We say "I will never do that again" but of course this is foolish. From that day, we can only say "if my mind accepts this pattern and that conformity I will open to love" in other words we live for the respt of our lives in delisuion, in mind.

That is why sex is so important to the delusioned mind. It has so much knowledge that the only place it can find solace is in the emptiness of release in sex. This mind is incapable of love except in that moment of orgasm. So it becomes obseesed with it. If that same mind were set free, without the patterns and insecurities it would find the same passion and fire in life itself and sex would become less if not totally unimportant.

The knowing mind lacks understanding. It lives completely out of the past. Nothing is new. It will say "that reminds me of what used to happen to me" and then there is automatic disorder. Disorder of the greatest level. Because nothing is new, evethying is compared to knowledge. The past. This also goes for the pleasures of life. Because this knowing mind compares the present to the past, it wants to repeat what bought pleasure before. It will say "if I could have this part of that person and that part of this person I would be happy" It lives in conformity to knowledge of the past.

But all wanting kills love. So that person who has knowledge, cannot love because they don't want this, and they do want that. Then there is ambition, desire to be something, someone, become something or someone, the whole mechanism is driven by comparison to who they are, who you are and what they want. Beware of this in your life and the those who approach you with their wanting love. They are disordered and will therefore have disordered relationships.

So why is love so difficult to sustain?

Love is difficult to sustain because we are self obsessed. We are obsessed with pleasure and how we are. We want to have,be and do so much that from that moment in life there can be no love, only ambtion. This is the fear of emptiness. Because in emptiness all our wanting finds no traction. There is no ambition possible in emptiness, and therefore love. It is empty, therefore everything we do makes no difference, everything we mimick makes no difference, repeating patterns makes no difference, self isolation (staying out of relationship) makes no difference. They just increase the minds sense of conformity and security. But this is as close as it gets.

We think that the more we strive, the more we conform, the more we develop patterns the more secure our life will be and therefore the more love we will have. This is the great mistake because love does not thrive in security, ego does. Love thrives in insecurity and disspappointment, where loneliness is real and embraced and where everything we ask for is refused us. That is where love is. That requires understanding, not knowledge. There is no complete knowledge, but there is complete understanding. Complete understanding means love. Understanding something, or some situation is to see how there is or was love in it. Then that understanding creates an open heart and those problems that can block our life to not deaden the spirit.

You can see these half people. They walk like everyone else, they talk like everyone else but they are not able to think like everyone else. They are not love. They and knowledge, and therefore only living out of experiences which are incomplete. These people say "I am happy" but anyone who says they are happy are not happy. They are in their mind having an upper. They compare, and therefore they are blind.

Love is not mind, memory, ambition, desire, expectation, conformity, exlusiveness, righteousness, pattern, ownership, security, fear, jealousy, demand or anything of these emotional states of self obsession. These are states that trying to create patterns and therefore intimacy out of security. They are built on running away from insecurity. Therefore this person cannot love. Love requires insecurity.

Kind, loving and tender people cannot be self important and therefore they must be able to love without a home. They must be fully open to the emptiness that is love, the vulnerability that is love without trying to put up their patterns and knowledge and say "if this and this then I can love" no, this is mind and there can be no love in this life.

It does not matter where the ambition comes from. Spiritually ambitious, business ambitious, health ambitious, family ambitious - these are all blockages in relationship. They may have their place outside but in love they are the toxin. They breed disorder, and that disorder breads the emotional suffereing and pain. That means that ambition and wanting keep people on the surface of love. Superficial lovers are those who cannot understand life as love, but instead, know all about what they want, what they don't want and what they deserve.

This is the periphery of love. Feelings, wantings, identification, knowledge, attachments, desire, trivia, conformity all come from self importance. Even an individual who has great loving powers will not know themselves if they are always wanting to be other than who they really are. Empty and lonely.

There are always problems. This is life. The question is whether you can understand that problem as yuour mind blocking love or whether you get more knowledge from that problem and therefore increase the blockage to love. You can choose. The important thing is that if you carry a problem from one day to the next, you will need pride and ambiton to deal with the lack of spirit in your life. Then sex obsession will drive the fire rather than the love of life. Remember, those who desire to be humble can never be humble.

As soon as we want, we kill love. Try to become empty, it is possible. If there is anything from your history, yesterday, last year or last 20 years that you have overcome with knowledge, maybe it is time to unlearn what ever you learned and fall back, into understanding, by finding where there was love, and where it was you who were blind. Love is everywhere. And your duty is to find it. That is how you solve problems daily.

http://www.chriswalker.com.au Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au -- http://www.chriswalker.com.au