Love is an amazing journey. There are many people who can love really deeply. Often people say to me "I love really deeply and so I get hurt a lot" but I would like to argue today, that nature disagrees with that assessment.
The ability to love cannot be measured in the opportunities to celebrate the good times, the emotional highs or positives. This is the shallowest love. Sometimes the person who claims to hold the deepest love, has the complete opposite because their love, cannot be sustained when things get difficult.
The real measure of love, is "how resilient it is?"
Love is life any pleasure. More does not always make you happier. You can make love all the weekend but 30 seconds after you stop one phone call comes in from your ex partner and you go into an emotional spiral. If things like this can send you down, then your love might be called an infatuation. If outside disturbances send you into an emotional spiral, then your love, no matter how passionate is incomplete love.
If your love is interrupted by worry or anger, then it is a weak love, a love filled with emotional uppers, balanced by emotional downers.
Love is a power. It is the power of sustainability. Love is the laser focus, where you make every moment count. Yes, stuff happens to us, parents die, friends get upset, children disobey and demand, work is stressful and travel exhausting. But love is like a martial art, it is not passive. It does not sit behind your dynamics with people waiting for the air to be clear before it is given priority. Love is the priority on which you live.
It is wise to consider this in your relationships. Because the consequence of not prioritising love is disastrous. Love does not imply that other things, other elements of your life do not exist, however, love does imply that the chord that links you, no matter where you are is more important that the emotional attachments you have to other things.
I meet people all over the world, who, in the first months of a relationship are gushing and loving, sort of like a lasso they throw out in order to capture their lover. But within a short period of time, distractions draw them away, excuses for not showing up start to trickle into their offering of love.
Oh, my mother is upset because I didn't invite her to stay for October. Oh, my father hates me because I like my mother. Oh, my ex might reduce the maintenance payments if we do that. Oh, I can't afford a baby sitter this week. Oh, I am so distressed, I don't like my apartment. Oh, the business is not going well, I am so worried about it. Oh, my back is so sore I need to take anti inflammatory. Oh, I am too tired to trave there. Oh, I don't feel like. Oh, my friend said I was mean to her, but I wasn't.
These are what I call, the gremlins. Little warriors of emotions that come to take love and split it into, an undercurrent, "sure we love each other, we are both very busy though" The gremlins find their way through self important emotional dramas, through the invasion of people who are not relevant, and the gremlins eventually take over.
Protecting your relationship from gremlins means protecting your relationship from your outer circle. Your love is a sanctuary, like a holy place, a sacred place and all emotion, whether it be love making or work or worry, must be subordinate to it.
Love is sacred. If you treat it so, love is a magnificent place from which to live. But if you are the victim of your emotions, blown here, running there, ups and downs, over and ups, your love will no longer be a priority, and over a short period of time, will turn to tatters. Pleasure is the bandaid the uninitiated use to repair love that is filled with gremlins, sexuality with a fancy negligee, but such weapons against gremlins fails.
To feed the hungry gremlins means to feed drama. There will never be enough pleasure to make the gremlin happy. After a week on a wonderful romantic honeymoon, one phone call, one piece of information can wipe all the happiness out, and turn the moment to a disaster. You can swim in a five star swimming pool and have luxury treatments in a spa, but one molecule of news can wipe it all. For those whose commitment to love is weak, the cracks of self importance through which the gremlins creep are wide open.
The gremlins that kill relationships, rarely come from within the relationship. Two lovers may find the space and love that is truly sacred. But then ex partners, families, money issues, work, health, ambitions, greed, jealousy, friends jealousy, kids, and more start to creep in. They are the enemy. The gremlins. You must be at war with those gremlins. You must know they are like a cancer that so quickly erodes the beauty and integrity of sacred love.
To live in sacred relationship we must learn mind control. Learn to master our reactions to emotional triggers. The self indulgent person is deluded in thinking the pleasure will last without mind control. They lack it. They are the victim, disempowered, seeking peaceful places because they do not have the mind power to create peace within. These emotionally frail individuals blame the world for their lack of mind control. They blow like the wind, moody, reactive. Such a person cannot sustain sacred love.
Mind control comes with the understanding of the Universal Laws of nature.
Prioritise love. Prioritise love. Beyond love making, prioritise love, the sanctuary between you where no other news, no other soul, no noise, no disturbance, no problem or person can invade. Hold this space sacred, never release it. 24/7 this is the space where two lovers work, live and play. Sacred love can be so strong that there is no need to worship Gods and Goddess in temples or places of religion, love is god, and god is love, sacred love is that home and it exists in the heart of two warriors. To people who are ready to work for what they believe is possible. Sacred Love.
Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris's work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
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